I believe in you - Sherlock Fanfiction.

Chapter thirty six - Hospital.

**Still Sherlock's POV**

I wake up, although im not sure what time it is. I still feel weak, but i know i feel better than before. I can hear the beeping of the machine next to me, which i guess is a good sign. I start to open my eyes, there's not much light in the room so i don't have to adjust to it. There was a lamp on, but that's about it.

I stay there, staring up at the ceiling, trying to regain my energy. I then feel a weight in my hand, that was probably there all this time. I manage to turn my head, and in front of me and see Holland sitting on a chair with her hand in mine. She's asleep.

I didn't want to wake her up, but i desperately needed some water as my throat was dry as hell. I wasn't even sure if i had the strength to move my arm, but i finally manage, and i shake my hand that was in hears, hoping she would feel the movement and wake up. 

It doesn't take long. Her eyes open slowly and widen when she see's me. "Sherlock? You're awake! Shall i get the nurse?-" 

I cut her off from panicking, "No, i just need some water." I sounded weak. I hated this, feeling fragile and weak. I also hated feeling so vulnerable, and the fact that I was in hospital made me feel embarrassed.  I cleared my throat.

"Uh, okay." She moved her hand away from mine and walked towards the sink, grabbed a plastic cup and filled it with water. It was funny really, I liked her hand in mine. She held my hand for a long period of time when I was unconscious, because now my hand just feels cold without her holding it. "Here."

I don't say thank you, but I nod my head at her to give her the message that I appreciate the water. She smiles slightly, and sits back down in the chair.

"Did you stay the night?"

"You don't have to speak if it hurts." She states, "Or if its too much effort. Rest for a while."

"Im fine." I tell her, but in truth, I felt pretty weak, "Did you stay the night?"

"Yeah." She mumbles, "More like four days."

"Oh."

"John and Mary went home, I told them to get some rest."

I remember what Mary had done, and feel angry. But i know there was a reason to what she did, i just needed to figure it out, but at the moment i felt too tired to think, "Did you get any rest?"

"I was just asleep wasn't I?"

"Guess so." I mumble, although she knew what i meant. Sleeping in a chair wasn't good, i wanted to know if she got any proper sleep but decided not to say anything more of the subject as being quiet was much more easier for me. I take some sips of my water and think about what I've messed up.

Holland was the only woman who could see what i do is strange and sometimes dangerous, but yet admitted to liking me. She didn't need the attention from her lovers like other women did, she could see that i wasn't comfortable with that date night stuff. And yet she still liked me for being un-social and the guy who hid his emotions. She literally couldn't care less if I didn't want to act like a normal partner back, so why am I throwing away the one chance I could have with someone who's not a complete idiot and understands me? 

I've messed it up.

"Im sorry." I say. Her head rises and she raises her eyebrow.

"What for?"

"...For Janine. I thought i was going to die and the last image you would've had of me was me pretending to be with her for a case."

"Actually the last imagine i would of had of you would be you leaving the building on a stretcher."