Bound by Law

Bound by Law || 38- Regrets of the Heart: Jai's POV

WARNING, THERE IS TALK OF RAPE. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE, PLEASE DO NOT READ.

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Shit, shit, shit. What's wrong with me?

I stared up at the ceiling as I leaned back against the sofa, thinking about Karishma. Ever since I had kicked her out earlier, I couldn't stop thinking about how much of an asshole I was.

Running a hand down my face, I grunted in irritation. My anger towards her got the best of me and I unleashed it in a way I shouldn't have.

Fucking hell.

We were becoming close and this whole thing had taken us back to square one again.

Though, even I had to admit that my anger was justified.

The thought of her beautiful, innocent face, laughing and smiling with me whilst she hid something big from me was like a punch to the fucking gut.

I clenched my hands into fists and tensed my jaw at her foolishness. Running a frustrated hand through my hair, I growled to myself.

The fact that she didn't even tell me the truth about fucking G—

No. Don't think about it.

I uncurled my fists and heaved a slow, deep breath out through my nose.

If she wasn't so sensitive or silly, I would have told her to grow the hell up–in the use of my language and words. I snorted lightly; that would have only made things worse and I'd feel guilty, seeing her face crumple up in sorrow.

Ah, shit. I'm supposed to be mad at her but here I am thinking about how beautiful and innocent she is.

God. Who was I kidding? I was madly in love with her and she was all I could think about–she was even the object of my bloody anger.

I sat up slowly. It didn't matter if she didn't trust me enough to confide in me–she had undoubtedly become my everything.

I chuckled to myself humourlessly. It was funny how life worked. I never would have guessed that those words would be uttered about Karishma.

And the truth was, I believed every word of it.

Of course, it was clear as day that she didn't feel the same. Her anger at my aggressive kiss proved that which was, obviously, my fault.

Can't say her reaction didn't hurt any less, though.

I sighed and ruffled my hair. It didn't matter if she didn't reciprocate my feelings. I was in love, and I'd do anything for her.

Though, when I had first married her, it was the opposite. The thought of marrying an ordinary woman like her disgusted me and all I wanted to do was to get rid of her; I just wanted her to leave me alone, and if she wanted to run away with someone, I would have been all for it.

But somehow, I found myself falling in love.

And her running away and leaving me was the last thing I wanted. Her hesitance in telling me about the occurrence with Gavin was like her contemplating her choices.

She was contemplating running away with Gavin, no less, and it killed. It hurt me and I wanted her to know it.

I wanted her to feel the pain I was going through, even though I had gone too far. It felt good for a split second but then vanished in an instant.