Before She Even Knows

Chapter 10 - He wasn't there

For the second day in a row, I woke up with a headache.

The reasons why are completely different though. I blame the first one on the alcohol and the second one on Noah Allen.

I'm still a bit annoyed with what happened at the party, even though I'm much calmer now. Walking to the dorm last night was a pretty good idea.

Who would tell that exercise could be good to calm the nerves? Ok, I know everyone says it's good for stress, etc, etc, but I'm not everyone.

I'm actually considering start running.

No, you are not.

Yeah, you're right, I'm actually not.

I didn't bother looking at my phone since I left the house and when I checked it this morning, there were countless messages and missed calls from Mads, Mark and even Tyler.

They were worried and wanted to check if I was doing ok.

They are such great friends, aren't they?

I would have answered them if they weren't also friends with the devil himself.

They were probably with Noah when they texted me, so there was no chance in hell I'd give him the satisfaction of knowing how I was doing, which was not fine at all.

I feel a bit disappointed to see there were no other messages. I admit I was kind of expecting Noah to text me saying he's sorry for what happened, but who am I kidding?

That would never happen.

I put the phone away and hug my pillow. It's still early for a Sunday morning and I don't think I'll be getting out of the comfort of my pillow any time soon.

Mads is already at her morning jogging or practice or whatever she does in the mornings with her endless energy.

I wouldn't be able to keep up with her, even if I wanted. I'm too lazy for that.

I know we'll have to talk eventually about what happened once she's back, but I'm just not ready.

I don't think I'll ever be ready if I really want to keep my promise to not let Noah affect me anymore.

She got home last night when I was already sleeping - well, pretending to be sleeping - so I think she didn't want to bother me.

As I have some study to do, I decide this will be how I'll spend my day, just catching up, doing assignments and thinking about British literature.

How fun is that?

Normally I'd go to the library to have some peace of mind, just for the pleasure of being there, but I don't want to risk seeing Noah, as I know he usually goes there on Sundays too.

How could I find any peace if I run into the one who is taking my peace away?

After what feels like forever, two assignments and a lot of notes later, I decide to call Abby.

It's been forever that I don't actually talk to her or Kevin, other than messages.

I decide against telling her about Noah and our frustrating non-friendship. Of course I've told her about him, but just in a 'oh, he's my roommates' BFF, that's all' way.

I feel guilty for not telling her everything, but I don't want to talk about it or deal with that today and I know she'd never let me see the end of it, so I leave the details out.

You see, that's the reason why girls get so heartbroken. Instead of their friends telling the truth, that the guy doesn't give a shit about them, they believe that for some twisted reason they are hiding their true love, so they make you believe you also have feelings for the guy and the other way around.