Before She Even Knows

Chapter 26 - You knew this all along

You know when you picture a perfect plan about something and you get extremely disappointed because life is a bitch and is not helping you at all?

Well, that's how I feel about tonight. It's not going as I planned.

I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but drama seems to have a crush on me, so of course something would go wrong. My plan, whatever it was, didn't include Diana or me being in Ryan's arms, even if it's not what it looks like.

Does the fact that I hate seeing them together means that I actually like him? Or it just means that I'm hanging out with the Mads too much and I'm getting affected by her romantic way?

The pain in my chest with the thought of him with Diana is certainly an indication. I don't get this feeling with anyone else, I don't care who Ryan, Tyler or Logan kiss, but when it comes to Noah, it affects me.

As soon as our eyes met when I was still tangled in Ryan's arms, Noah turned around and left the room. More like, stormed out of the house, bumping into a guy on the way, that almost fell face first on the floor.

Wrong place at the wrong time, buddy.

The look on Noah's is face is the confirmation that he thinks that the complicated position he saw me with Ryan had nothing to do with the fact that I'm an idiot who trips over herself.

Honestly, I don't care what he thinks right now. He has absolutely no right to be mad at me considering Diana was all over him and we all know what her intentions are and it's not to help a friend like Ryan was doing with me.

No, she wants him to get into her pants.

Why should I care, right? He didn't care enough to come after me to say 'hey, sorry that the girl who is desperately in love with me, has her hands all over my hot body. It's not what you're thinking'.

I know I brought this upon myself for creating expectations, we're not dating, so I also don't have any right to be mad at him.

Despite these thoughts, that honestly make me want to throw up, I continue my conversation with Ryan. He's taking care of me, because that's what decent friends do.

After a while and just when I almost forgot about Noah – key word being almost - we decide to go around and I finally see Mads from the distance and wave at her.

When she sees me, she comes running and starts saying so many nonsense things that I'm sure even she's having a hard time to understand what's coming out of her mouth.

She's drunk. Really drunk.

Then I see Noah. Much to my relief, he's talking to Tyler instead of shoving his tongue down Diana's throat.

Maybe I lied. I wasn't even close to forgetting about him, as he's been crazily on my mind for the past half an hour.

As soon as his eyes meet mine, he glares and I stop. I know better to realize that it's a warning to not come any closer, so I don't move for a few seconds.

Man, Noah looks mad. Scratch that, he looks beyond pissed.

I should stick with my instincts and don't do anything, but being the idiot that I am, I can't control myself and before I know, I'm already just a few steps away from them.

''Ems, are you ok?'' Tyler asks me as if I'm about to pass out, because well, that's actually how I feel.

I feel like an idiot. A soon to be dead idiot, with the look I'm receiving from him right now. 

''Can we talk?'' I ask looking intently at Noah, as if I'm not also mad at him for the whole Diana thing.

''About what?'' I give him a pointed look. I know he's asking this on purpose, but I won't answer in front of Ryan and Tyler.