Bliss || KOOKJIN ☑️ Complete

Regrets

Seokjin

I slammed the door behind me. Oh my God. What did i do? Guilt suddenly creep in. Even if Jimin is cheating, I should have not allowed Jungkook to do the same. And worst, he did it with me. Even if I have feelings for him, I should have not allowed that feelings to control me. All I know right now is that, what happened earlier was a big mistake.

A knock on the door. "Jin.. Jin let's talk. I know you can hear me. Let's talk please?"

His voice sounds like he is begging to me. Far from his very commanding and seductive voice earlier when he's calling me beautiful. But why do I want to open the door for him? As much as this guilt is taking over me, my feelings for him is greater. As much as i want to be angry at him, why do i feel like it's all my fault rather than his? Foolish Jin. That's foolish.

I don't want to hear him pleading. If i will stay here, I might open the door and make another mistake. I went straight to the bathroom. I want to wash away his sweat and scent that stuck in my body. If a shower can wash away the guilt I'm feeling right now, I will shower the whole day.

As soon as the water hit my body and dripped on to my back, that's when I feel the muscle pain, specifically on my waist down to my thighs. My ass burning like hell. I held on to the tiled wall and cried. Both from physical pain and the pain of the mistake that i have done. But it's all over now, and i can't do anything about it. What I am dreading now are the consequences of my actions. Of our actions. Both Jungkook and I.

I locked myself inside our quarters. I just lied down in my yo. I even forgot to eat lunch. I already texted Namjoon and asked him if we could meet up. He said he is available. I really need someone to talk to right now. Then I heard the front door opened. I think eomma has arrived.

I can't stand properly, my body is sore. I walked out slightly limping. My eomma looked at me anxiously.

"What happened?" She asked me. "You looked terrible Jinnie."

I shook my head. "I slipped earlier eomma."

"You slipped on the basement I guess? Kookie saw the key on the floor. I'm sorry i forgot to tell you that Kookie has his gym there. He said he thinks he scared you. Did he?" She showed me the key. I already forgot about that key. It's the key's fault why I got stuck inside that damn basement. And yes Jungkook scared the shit out of me and he fucked me. Damn you key. Damn you Jungkook. I wonder if my eomma can still call you Kookie when she learned what you did to me

"Jungkook returned it?" I asked. Just to have something to say. I don't even have the strength to talk.

"I saw him at the front door. He said he will return this to you but you're not getting the door." Jungkook still on the door? But I was in my bedroom for four hours now. Don't tell me he stayed there that long?

"Uh, yes eomma. I slipped on the basement. Maybe it fell from my pocket." I lied.

"What's painful? Are you sure you're okay?" Eomma asked. My ass hurts, if i could only say that. She looked worried. I just nodded. "Have you seen the paints in the basement? I hope you did not try painting. You looked terrible."

"I'm fine. Eomma, I will meet my classmate tonight. We have some projects to work on." I said.

"But you still look in pain."

"No eomma, im okay. And this is important." Very important. if i can only tell my mother what happened. But I'm scared that she will disown me. What i did was wrong. Just so wrong.

Later that day, I met with Namjoon at the coffee shop where we saw Jimin and Yoongi few days ago.

"What happened to you? You looked .."

"Terrible.. I know."I cut him off.

Namjoon looked taken aback.

"What's the problem Jin? I know there is. You will not text me to meet up on a weekend for a cup of coffee."

It took me a while to say it. I felt ashamed but I need to get this out of me.

"I did something crazy Joon.. foolish.. whatever you can call that."

Namjoon just looked at me. Waiting for what I'm going to say next.

"Jungkook and I.." Shall i continue saying this? Namjoon looked at me intently.

"We made a mistake." I hope Namjoon got it. I don't want to explain what exactly happened. I just wish he got the message.

"Mistake.. you mean you had sex with him?" My breath hitches. His words were so mean but what can i do? That's true. I nodded. I can't look at Namjoon. I'm ashamed.

"Seokjin! What happened to you? Aren't you thinking properly?" Namjoon sounds disappointed. "I bet, you let your emotions take over you right? Even if he's your 'biggest crush' whatever the fuck you called him, you should have not allowed him to do that to you!"

I started to cry. Well, that's what friends are for right? They will tell you the truth even if it will hurt you. "What if I get pregnant?" That's what I am dreading to happen. "What if Jimin..  Oh my god Joon.. I'm so dead." I stomp my feet with my face in my hand. I'm so frustrated.

"You pray it won't happen because I'm pretty sure he will deny that it's his child." What?! I did not expect Namjoon to say that. I grabbed the hem line of my shirt. My eyes still in shock .

"W-what do you m-mean?" I stuttered.

"Can't you see Jin? He just used you to revenge to his husband. He's only using you as his back up. He's just using you."

"He's not like that Joon." I tried to defend Jungkook.

"What do you mean he's not like that? He already did it Jin. He took advantage of your weakness. Why did you let yourself fell in his trap?"

"But he said he loves me." How can I say this if i myself did not believe Jungkook when he said that?

Namjoon laughed sarcastically, "Love? And you believed him? Come on Jin! How can you be this stupid? How can he say that he loves you if he's just making you as his fall back? I'm sure that if he won't be able to fix things up with Jimin, at least you're there to be his second choice."

"Stop now Namjoon! How can you say that? You don't know Jungkook." Here you go again stupid Jin.

"I don't know him, yes but the way he's treating you and the way he treated you, it seems like he's enjoying every minute of using you. Come on Jin. Think about it."

Jungkook using me? I'm just a back up? Fall back? Second choice? But why did he looked so jealous when he saw Namjoon with me? Why did he asked me to cancel my coffee date with Namjoon? Was that part of his plans to use me to get revenge to Jimin? Is he really just using me? Is Namjoon right?

I think Namjoon just made my feelings worst. This is all my fault after all.