Bliss || KOOKJIN ☑️ Complete

Shame

Seokjin

I arrived home exhausted. What happened today almost took all my strength away. I really think I should visit a doctor soon. I need to have myself and my baby checked. As much as I hated myself for getting pregnant by a married man, I wanted to keep the baby. I hurried to the bathroom to shower. I hated how Namjoon touched me. I still wonder why he ended up like that. He acted like a maniac.

I started to contemplate. Eomma should know about my pregnancy from me instead of learning it from someone else. It's not that I don't trust Hae but early this morning, she insisted that I should tell eomma right away. I believed her. That's the right thing to do. Besides, she'll know sooner. Why prolong my agony of keeping her a secret?

After taking a shower, eomma is already in our mini kitchen preparing our dinner. I hugged her by the waist. "Eomma." I said. She turn her face to kiss my cheeks. "Jinnie.. how's school?"

"It's okay. I think I'm doing good." I said as I helped her prepare our low table.

Out of the blue, I suddenly think of Jimin in that very awkward situation earlier. As much as I am terrified of his threats, I think I should tell my mother what I saw instead of him telling lies about me, "Eomma please don't say this to anyone but... I saw Sir Jimin and Yoongi making out in the car." I confessed.

To my surprise, Eomma just nodded. "Kookie already told me that Jimin is cheating."

"H-he told you?"

"Yes Jinnie. There are things that Kookie can say to me that he cannot say to his mother. He told me more than a month ago. Don't worry about it. Kookie can sort that out himself. I believe him and Taehyung were planning something. So don't stress your self too much. I'm just glad Mr. and Mrs. Jeon are always out on a trip.  For sure, they will flip!"

She placed our dinner on the table and sat on the floor. I always sit across her when eating but this time, I sat beside her.

"Mmm Jinnie. You want to tell me something else right?" She looked at me. I started to get nervous. She knew me well. She held my hands and put them on her lap. "You can tell me anything my Seokjin. What else is bothering you?"

I paused for a while to think and to collect more courage.

"Eomma..." I breathe out.  "I will tell you something but please don't get mad at me." I felt a tear left my eye. I'm staring at my anxious looking mother. Waiting for what I am about to say.

"Eomma... I'm..." I hesitate. I bowed my head, the next words came out as a whisper, "I'm pregnant."

I looked at my mother who looked extremely shocked. Her hands shakes as she whisper my name. "Seokjin..." She cried.

"Eomma I'm sorry.. please forgive me.." I throw myself into her arms and wailed  on her shoulder. I felt her hand patting my back. "I'm so sorry.." That's all I can say.

After several minutes of crying, I finally calmed down. She cupped my face with her hands and wipe the tears on my cheeks with her fingers. "Stop crying Jinnie. We can't do anything about it anymore. The baby is already there. But I am disappointed. Very disappointed. I am truly hurt by your actions. I expect that you will act better."

"Sorry eomma." I sobbed at my mother's words. I know she's hurt of what I did but I know her love for me is greater.

"So who's the father Jinnie? Is it Namjoon? He's always with you." This is the question that I am more afraid to answer. I already expected that she will take my pregnancy news calmly. But this one, I wonder how.

I shook my head. My eyes on the floor.

"Not him? Who?" She asked trying to catch my gaze. I fell silent. I think i don't have the courage to tell her. "Eomma, can we not talk about him now?"

"Seokjin! You already told me you are pregnant. I demand for the name of the father! Who did that to you?!" Eomma yelled at me. Perhaps, she already lost her patience at me.

"But eomma.."

"TELL ME NOW!" She screamed, her eyes glaring.

"J-jungkook." I mumbled.

She looked more shocked than ever. "W-who?" I know she heard me. She just can't accept it.

"Eomma.." I cried. "I'm sorry.. please.." I tried to hug her but instead I felt a hard slap across my face. I cupped my cheek with my hand. "Eomma?"

"Jin!!! What did you do?! He's married!!!" She screamed as she punched my shoulders several times while crying. I just let her hurt me. I can't blame her. She pulled herself up and went inside her bedroom slamming the door closed.

I tried to knock on her door. I can hear her crying inside her room. I called her but no answer.

****

I think i didn't get enough sleep last night. I'm thinking about my mother almost the whole night. I think I doze off at dawn already.

I was awakened by a noise in my bedroom. When I opened my eyes, I saw eomma putting my clothes inside a bag.

"Eomma? What are you doing?" I asked as I looked on what she's doing. Instead of answering my question, she continue packing away my things.

"Eomma!" I called out stopping her from taking my clothes out of the cabinet.

"You're going back to your father." She said without looking at me.

"But eomma I'm still studying. I can finish this semestral even if I'm pregnant." I reasoned.

"Yes you can study. And when your tummy gets big, what are we going to tell the Jeons? That their son got you pregnant?" Eomma said. She's still angry from last night.

"Eomma, we don't need to tell them who got me pregnant. I believe they will not ask. And by the time my stomach gets big, the semestral is already over. I will wear oversized clothes. They won't notice." I held my mother's hand. "Eomma please don't do this to me."

"Jin, Jungkook knows what happened to both of you and the possibility of getting you pregnant. He betrayed my trust but I know he will not let your pregnancy pass. He will take full responsibility of that but that would be really shameful to the Jeons, to you, to me, to our family and most especially to Jimin! He may be cheating but they are still married! What are they going to say? You seduce Jungkook? You should have known better Jin! You know he's married. Why did you let that happen?"

I cried again and it between my sobs, I muttered, "I like him."

Another slap landed on my cheek. I just closed my eyes. I deserved this. "You like him? Are you crazy? oh my gracious Lord. The Jeons gave us a home to make us comfortable. They gave you scholarship so you can continue college and this is what you will give them? I've been with them for twenty years and you just ruined everything! Are you not ashamed of yourself? You will go back to your father. I will buy a bus ticket. You will take the midnight trip so nobody can see you leave."

I just cried looking at her. Silently. Everything she said just hurt me. I suddenly think of Namjoon. Would it be crazy if I ask him to take responsibility of my child so as to save my mother and my family from shame? I honestly do not know what to do now. I'm confused. I'm scared. I'm alone.