Connection

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Jungkook

Today is my private meeting with the mediator. Jimin had a private meeting with him a week ago and today is my turn. After two months of waiting, our divorce procedure finally started.

I and my lawyer arrived an hour earlier than scheduled. I guess I'm so excited for this divorce to have the final decision. My dad is so impatient regarding this and wanted me to get out of marriage as soon as possible.

I saw Jimin waiting near the room where I and the mediator will have a meeting. His head bowed down and it's obvious he lose a lot of weight. He have some pimples here and there, his hair disheveled and his clothes looks like he just pulled it out from the dryer and wore it right away. Even if he cheated on me, my heart breaks when I saw his condition.

"Jimin?" I called. He looked up and was surprised when he saw me. He stood up to bow then sat back again. I sat beside him.  "How are you?"

"I-i'm okay." He smiled. "Y-you? How are you now?"

"I'm good. Did you came from Busan?" I asked, wondering if he went back to his parents. But he shook his head.

"I'm living with Hoseok. Uh.. my.. m-my parents were angry at me." His eyes staring blankly somewhere.

I saw him playing with his fingers and his feet keeps on switching places. I knew that Jimin is somewhere in between scared and embarrassed. "What are you doing now Jim? Are you working?"

He shakes his head and smiles. "But I'm looking."

Jimin jerks when I held his hand. Probably thinking why. "I'm sorry but I think you should at least take care of yourself Jimin."

I breathed out, "Jimin we can never be friends but you're still the father of my son. I hate to see his father being so hard to himself. You looked terrible."

"Serves me right, right Jungkook?" I watch the tears run down from his cheeks. I did not answer that. He knows that my answer will be a big yes.

"Yoonjoon is looking for you. You can visit him if you want." I said while I release his hands from my hold.

"He is?" And for the first time, he looks at me in the eye like a spark of hope  flared inside him. "I thought he's angry at me."

"Jimin he's just a kid. He don't have any idea what's going on. How can a child be angry at you?"

He shakes his head. "I will visit him once they release the final decision. I don't want to interrupt the procedure."

"Jimin, Seokjin is pregnant." To be fair to him, I believe he should know that somewhere between our tainted marriage, I committed adultery.

Jimin looked at me, his expression soft. "Happy to hear. I know that you like him, even before. Honestly Jungkook, I don't mind but I am aware of your intention. Don't you ever feel guilty about it. Who am I to judge you anyway?"

"Mr. Jeon Jimin?" A woman called holding a clip board. Jimin looked at her. "Sir, you need to sign this document."

"Ah yes! My lawyer asked me to go here for that. Where shall I sign?" Jimin signed a document and gave back the pen to the woman. "Thank you."

Jimin stood up and bow at me. "Nice seeing you again Jungkook. Take care of Yoonjoon. Take care of Seokjin and your baby. See you again."

Jimin walks out before the same woman who had him signed the document lead me and my lawyer inside the room for our private mediation.

He asked me what I really wanted to happen without thinking about the legal side. I told him that all I want is the nullity of our marriage.

I said whatever Jimin deserves to have, I am willing to give. Whatever is legal. We had a pre nuptial agreement anyway. We don't have debts or loans or anything that we shall pay as a couple. We don't have any properties that we bought or acquired as a couple. All we have is the money that came as wedding gift. I presented all the documents needed.

I also express my desire to give Jimin the chance to see our son at least every weekend. I don't want to deprive him of our son's love and affection because I know that somehow, he loves our son and he cares for him. And I know that Yoonjoon likes it too. Even if Jimin sometimes neglected him for his selfish desires, Yoonjoon still loves him. And I don't want to be selfish. I don't want Yoonjoon to grow up without the presence of his father. I don't want him to develop anger against his papa. I know that someday, our son will understand what happened and will eventually accept our set up.

If you will ask me if I pity Jimin. Yes I do. When I saw him earlier, my heart breaks for our son. I don't want our son to see his father miserable. My anger is still there and I think it will linger. It will never cease but somehow, it subsides a little. Because whatever I do, there's still something or someone that binds us, and it's our son. Somehow, Jimin and I are still connected forever. And I need to accept that truth.

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