Chapter 67

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I glance at Elle in the passenger seat. Her head is tilted back and her eyes are cast down towards my hand on her thigh. Her fingers trace the back of my palm. I turn over my hand and she takes hold of my index finger, her palm pressed comfortably against mine.

It's Saturday afternoon and I'm taking her home. She's been distant all morning, uneasy. Hotch and I cleaned her apartment together the other day. It was hard for me to be back there. I can't imagine what it'll be like for her.

She squeezes my hand when I park in front of her apartment. I turn off the car and look over at her.

"Elle," I whisper.

She looks back to me, her features worried. I bring a hand to her face and kiss her lips softly, then the tip of her nose. She gives me a small smile.

"I'm right here with you," I remind her. She nods, giving my hand another squeeze. I open my door and come around the car to help her out. She stands, leaning on my shoulder for support. Together we approach the front door.

I take out my key and unlock the door, pushing it open. I wait for her to go first. She hesitantly steps inside the apartment. Her eyes pass over the window seat.

"You replaced the pillows," she notices.

I give a small smile. "Thought you'd appreciate it."

"I do." She keeps her gaze on the same spot. I step behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist carefully. She leans into me, swaying on her feet. I kiss her neck softly.

"It's in the past, Elle," I whisper into her ear. "Memories. Memories can't hurt you."

She sighs, sinking into me. Slowly, she rolls against my chest until she's facing me. She runs her hands across my cheeks and to the back of my neck. I close my eyes at the warmth of her touch.

Her lips find my collarbone, my neck, my mouth. Soft, at first, and then harder, her hands pulling me closer. I don't hesitate to open my mouth when her tongue runs across my bottom lip. Her hands tangle in my hair while mine grip her hips.

She pulls away for air and I speak while I have the chance. "You need to be careful," I mumble against her lips.

She presses her mouth to mine again, smiling into the kiss. "No, you need to be careful with me," she says when we break away. She leans in to my ear. "I can do whatever I want to you." My head lolls forward as she takes my earlobe in her teeth.

She pulls away and laughs at the expression on my face. I give her a foolish smile as we sway back and forth, my arms around her waist and her hands pressed to the back of my neck.

"I'm going to get our bags from the car," I tell her. "You'll be okay here?"

She smiles. "I'll be fine, C."

I help her to the couch before leaving to get our things. I pause on the front steps, my eyes catching on something reflecting the light. I bend towards it and realize what it is. I pick it up cautiously. The blade is dark red with my blood. It was sitting in the grass beside the steps, where I kicked it after Garner cut my forearm open.

I follow the pathway to the street and throw it into the first trash can I see.

When I get back inside Elle is lying on the couch, her eyes closed. "Tired?" I ask as I put the bags down beside the door.

"Mmm." Elle opens her eyes and props herself up on the pillows. She tilts her head sideways, her gaze passing up and down my body.

I smile. "Take a picture, it'll last longer."

She laughs and I come to sit beside her. "What happened to your jacket?" she asks.

"My mom's?" My jean jacket used to be my mother's. She gave it to me shortly before she passed.

Elle nods and I sigh. "Spent a couple hours washing the blood out," I say. "But you could never tell the difference."

She smiles. "Good. I like that jacket."

I put one hand on her leg. "I know." Elle moves to her side, making room for me between her back and the couch cushions. I squeeze in, resting on one elbow and wrapping the other arm around her. I make sure to avoid her injury.

"Can I tell you something?" Her voice softens.

"You can tell me anything, Elle."

She rests her hand on mine, her fingertips grazing the back of my hand. I wait patiently for her to speak.

"I saw my dad," she whispers.

I've heard plenty of stories of near-death experiences. Usually they involve a lost loved one. I've always wondered if I'll see my mom, if something were to happen. I lean closer to Elle, kissing the back of her head to tell her to go on.

"We were on the jet. And he... he said..." She trails off as her voice breaks.

"It's okay. Take your time."

She draws in a shaky breath. "He said I couldn't stay with him. That it wasn't time. But... I didn't want to lose him again."

I trace my fingers across her waist. "So what did you do?"

"I told him about you. Everything I could think of. And I realized I couldn't stay."

I pick my head up and turn my body in an attempt to look at her. "You chose to go back?"

She shifts onto her back, her eyes piercing into mine.

"I chose you, Carli."

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a/n
they're SO soft i love writing this
hope everyone's having a good day
:)

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