"Do you think you could love him?" She asks me, hopeful.
"If he was made for me don't you think he would be better to me, treat me like an equal? Don't you think that he would be nicer, simply just appreciate that I'm here? That he would try and mak...
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I sit on the bed as tears flow down my cheeks. I wasn't ready to be a mother. I hadn't thought about it too much but I didn't want the responsibility that came with having kids. Let alone pups.
I already had the whole pack counting on me, I didn't need a baby as well. I didn't do much but the mere thought of so many people depending on me to make decisions flustered me and I hadn't even made any yet. I also had that treaty shit. Too many things were appearing in my life and it made it hard to concentrate.
I was stressed and I couldn't handle the weight of everything on my shoulders.
"You know stress isn't good for the baby," Onyx says as she knits. I look over at her, hugging my knees. "I can sense it. You're overthinking. You are going to be a perfect mother," Onyx says, stopping her kiting for a second as she looks at me.
"It's not just that," I say with a sigh. "It's everything. I'm just overall stressed, I'm stressed about the baby being the number one thing but there's reasons, I'm stressed about there actually being a person growing inside of me right now, I'm scared of giving birth and I'm scared of being a mother," I say laying down, placing a hand on my stomach.
"That's a mother's instinct," Onyx says to me, getting up and coming to sit on the bed with me. "You are protecting your child," she says with a smile, gesturing to the hand I had placed on my small stomach.
"That's how I know you're going to be a great mother," she says smiling. I give her a small smile back, my thoughts running wild.
"Come on, what else are you stressed about?" She asks me laying down next to me as we both stare at the ceiling.
"Ruling the pack. Overseeing the whole world of werewolves. Making decisions and deciding what's best for my pack. I'm stressed about the Rose and Dawson situation. She doesn't want a mate and is still being stubborn. I can't even begin to imagine what Dawson feels right now, I'm also stressed about the treaty... also I forgot to tell you, we have the treaty and before you ask no you can't see it, when it's time you can," I tell her causing he to pout. I close my eyes.
"Wow! Good on you! And well for the Rose and Dawson situation... I don't think it's best if you focus on it. You're putting unnecessary stress on yourself. I'm sure Dawson will figure it out. Trust me Tate, he's not a sensitive as you think. He's a grown man and if anything I think he's stronger than all of us. He'll work it out. Fate has a funny way of working out, what is meant to be is meant to be. So don't be sad or mad at the end of the day. It's something out of your control. Don't worry about it... if it makes you feel any better I've talked to him today and he said to that he was fine and he was handling the situation," she says to me trying to ease me.
"There's no way he could be fine," I say sadly. "You say the way Odysseus reacted when I was ignoring him. He's the strongest man I know and he was cracking. Dawson's mate is flat out denying their bond and rejecting him basically, he may just be better at hiding his hurt than others," I tell her. She nods at what I had to say, soaking it in.
"You're right," she says. "This Rose chick sounds like somebody I know," she says nudging me.
"Oh please! I am nothing like her," I say to her. Sure we both had the same stubbornness but she was a bad person, she wanted people dead and the worst part was I couldn't blame her.
But it really started to soak into my brain. Was I like her? I didn't want this pup. I didn't want it dead but I also didn't want it and I didn't want to give birth to it. Did that make me a bad person?
I just wanted this pup to disappear, as if it was going to solve all of my problems. But it wasn't. Maybe this pup was the sign I needed to suck it up and take control of my life, not let it control me.
I sit up abruptly.
"Woah slow down cow girl," Onyx says to me, holding hand out in front of my non-exist and belly bump.
"It's a foetus, Onyx. I'm not going to hurt it," I tell her getting up and out of bed, I hold my hand on the door knob and open it.
"Woah. Wait. Where are we going?" She asks me.
"Too pay Rose a visit."
———
"Rose," I say to her, looking at her form crouching in the corner.
"Tatum?" She asks me, standing up and coming over to the bars. Careful not to touch them.
I place a hand on my tummy feeling uneasy.
"What's wrong are you sick?" She asks me with wide eyes.
"Yeah, something like that," was my reply as I stared at her, waiting for any sudden movements.
"Look Rose," I say to her, exhausted that I have to keep giving her the same lecture on mates.
"Wait Tatum. Let me go first," she says looking into my eyes. "I've thought about what you said... about the mate stuff. I've talked to Dawson... a lot. Well at least I did the talking..." she jokes lightly with a small smile.
"I didn't know what a mate could be like... until we touched. It was only small. Fingertips and as cheesy as it sounds I found the spark," she says looking at the ground with a small smile. "But I'm scared," she says looking at me with tears eyes.
"Dawson explained to me what you've been trying to tell me all this time and I finally get it. I want a mate, I want a life. I don't want to be a bitter person anymore," she says to me, crying. "But I'm scared that what if one day the sparks and the love fades and I'm overwhelmed," she cries. "I don't want to be like that," she sobs, falling to her knees, she clutches her head in her hands.
Onyx looks at me from afar, worry for the girl sparkling in her eyes.
"Rose," I say, grabbing her attention. "That spark and love. That is never going to go away. Mates are forever. It's not some human relationship. It's real and genuine and you're never going to feel anything like it," I tell her causing her to nod at me.
"I believe you," she says, looking up at me through her brown eyes. Her eyes were telling the truth.
"I'll send someone here for you, you will no longer have to be a prisoner..." I tell her with a smile.
"Can I be with Dawson?" She asks with wide eyes.
"Of course you can," I say to her causing her to release a happy smile.
I was happy for Rose. I didn't know where we stood now but I knew things were looking up.
"Thank you," I whisper to the moon goddess and my mother. Knowing they could hear me.
*** Edited
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