"Do you think you could love him?" She asks me, hopeful.
"If he was made for me don't you think he would be better to me, treat me like an equal? Don't you think that he would be nicer, simply just appreciate that I'm here? That he would try and mak...
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I sit in my room after the ceremony, I look at the window watching everyone talk to each other outside, excited about the news.
On one hand I was relieved he didn't discuss the treaty without asking me first, but on the other I was furious he had disclosed our pregnancy in front of the whole pack.
Everyone was probably wondering why I took off so suddenly. It hit me hard knowing the entire pack was talking about my pregnancy. It made it more real. I place a hand lovingly on my stomach.
"I hope you're not going to be as difficult as your father," I mutter to the foetus.
I hear a small chuckle come from the door causing me to hiss in embarrassment, I turn my head to see, Brian.
I sigh and look back out the window.
"I assume Odysseus sent you up here to fetch me," I say before standing up and walking to the door, knowing Odysseus isn't going to be happy if I don't comply.
Brian holds his hand out as if telling me to stop. I stand still and watch as closes the door behind him. He pushes me back gently with his hand on my chest, I walk back until my legs come in contact with the bed, I fall backwards causing me to giggle.
He smiles at me and sits next to me on the bed, laying down.
"Odysseus didn't send me up here. He was frustrated, but he knows that you need time. Besides. He did just tell the whole pack that you were pregnant without asking you if it was ok first... you have every right to be mad and upset," he says.
Finally. Someone understood my feelings.
"I just feel so broken. It hurts me that he's not giving me a say in my own life. I know my life affects his too but I still want to be able to make my own decisions. We're meant to be partners," I tell Brian, feeling sad that Odysseus was controlling not just his own life but controlling my own with it.
"I know," he sighs. "But I feel like this decisions is a good one. Did you ever think that maybe there's a reason that Odysseus choice could be the right one, in this situation?" He asks me, turning to face me.
"I'm not sure," I tell him truthfully. "In my heart, it's telling me that this pup is a blessing, but my brain is telling me otherwise. I can hear my mother's voice in the back of my head, telling me that I'm destined for great things... I just don't know what. I don't want to mess up. I feel a connection to this pup and I feel like that could be what my mother's talking about, what she's trying to tell me..." I say looking into his eyes as my vision becomes blurry with tears.
"So what's wrong?" He asks me gently, trying to understand.
"I'm not ready... I'm not ready to be a mother, I've never really had a certain mother figure in my life. I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm not going to be good enough, that if I have this child they'll get taken away from me just like I had been taken away from my parents. I'm scared that I'll get all the stress of the baby shoved onto me. I'm scared of giving birth. I'm just so scared," I cry. Brian wipes the tears from my eyes affectionately.
