What is love

Chapter 59 - Before I leave

Sabrina Kiehl

Alma has left because she also has to pack her stuff back in her apartment, I promised her that I'll help her too because she'll be moving out with me to New York. I'm standing in the living room staring at the city lights and I know I'm going to miss it, but then my eyes caught the pictures of us in the living room. The one that I told Alma not to pack, I take one of the frame and look at it. It is the picture when we were in Rome.

What a good old days, he was so kind a very loving back there. I miss those days and I miss that side of him where it was fun and laugh.

I still don't get what's inside of his head. What is he running from and what has he been hiding from. I guess the memory is too hurtful that turn him into someone else, and I'm very sad to see him like that. I look at the picture then I slowly put my palm on my stomach. If I leave this city, one day this baby will ask where is his father and who is his father. What is he look like and maybe someday he'll envy his friends who grow up with their parents. Then my thought goes back to what Alma has told me, I should see him one last time.

I look at the clock and it's almost midnight, he may be sleeping. I don't have the urge to tell him about the baby, and he probably doesn't want to see me but seeing him for one last time would be enough. I put the picture back to its place and change into sweater and a legging, I take my keys and leave the apartment.

Once I got there, I parked the car and went straight to where he's been hospitalized. I look through the window and I can't see him in his bed, his bed is empty. A second later he walks out of the restroom, walking slowly by his own. He walks so slow while holding on his IV, it is so hard to watch him walking like that. I keep watching him and the IV infusion suddenly fell from his hand.

"Fuck," he sighs, I know he can't lean down to get it from the floor and he's still so far from the bed to call the nurse.

I look around but there's nothing but an empty hall, there's no one but me to help him right now. So I slowly open the door then his eyes look up at me, my heart skips a beat when those eyes are looking at me with a strong stares.

I walk closer then take his Iv infusion from the floor, I got up then stand in front of him. Giving him the Iv bag but he only froze while looking at me. I know I've promised that he'll never see me again but guess I can't do that.

"Here," I give him the bag.

"I know I've promised you, I'm sorry," I said to him.

He suddenly open his arms before he pulls me close for a hug. He pulls me closer to him where I can feel his warm hug again, it feels like I just got home. He pulls me close before started to cry.., he never cried. I've never seen him like this. He holds me so tight I'm scared that I will hurt his wound, I can only put my chin on his shoulder while holding his iv bag.

I slowly put my palm on his back, brushing it slowly. He cries while holding me close, I can hear him cry while he's hugging me. I wait for him until he stops, I slowly pull away then look at his red eyes. His eyes are looking down at mine as I watch him confusedly.

"I am sorry," he said while standing in front of me.

"I'm sorry for everything I did that hurt you," he said while those green eyes looking down at mine.

I slowly put my palm on his cold cheek, brushing his tear away while looking back at him.

"I don't want to loose you," he said.

"I love you," he said while those eyes looking at me.

"I'm sorry," he said.

I stay in silent while looking at his eyes, I look through it and it feels like I just find my way back home. He is my home, no matter where I go I know he'll always be my home.