Not All Who Wander Are Lost

Chapter 9 - Reconnecting

I wake up in a room that I haven't been in since I was thirteen. Sam's bedroom has changed a lot. His walls are plastered with football posters and he has a double bed now instead of a single. I feel a little burst of happiness as I spot a familiar photo on his bedside table. It's Sam and I on Halloween when we were ten years old. We dressed up as salt and pepper and Sam had spent the night proudly telling people that we were doing a couple's costume because we were a couple of best friends. I smile to myself as I stretch out in Sam's bed. I realise that I'm wearing clothes that aren't mine; a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that is a little big on me. I vaguely remember Sam lending me clothes last night when he brought me here. I don't know where Sam is and I'm glad he isn't beside me because I suddenly feel myself start to cry again as the memories of last night resurface.

My dad. Everything he said. Everything he did. I curl up in a ball, letting sadness overwhelm me. I hear the bedroom door open and I hurry to wipe away my tears. I hear Sam's voice mutter something that sounds strangely like 'Oh darling, don't cry' but I tell myself that I misheard him, he wouldn't call me that. I feel the bed dip beside me as Sam sits down and I look up at him from beneath the blankets. He's got two mugs in his hands.
"I brought you a cup of tea. Mum always brings me one when I'm sad. I thought it might help," He smiles gently and holds one of the mugs out to me. I sit up and thank him softly, taking the mug, letting it warm my shaking fingers. I can feel Sam staring at me as I gaze down at the tea.

    "How are you feeling?" He asks quietly. I look up and make eye contact with him.
"Not great," I say truthfully. Sam reaches out and rubs my arm in a comforting way.
"Mum's at work but she says you're welcome to stay as long as you like," He smiles. I smile back. We finish our tea in a comfortable silence before Sam suggests that we go downstairs and watch a movie. I agree because I don't have the energy to actually do much. Sam leads me downstairs and I stare at everything we pass. I was too upset last night to take anything in but now I notice how similar his house is to the one I remember. The pictures hanging in the hallways are the same, the light blue walls feel so familiar that I can't help but smile. Sam grins when he notices my expression. He leads me into the living room and hands me a big fluffy blanket.

"It's a weighted blanket, I read that it can help with stress. This gonna sound stupid but I bought it for you for Christmas the year you came out and I never gave it to you, because by Christmas Day we weren't on speaking terms. But I kept it... just in case," He smiles, his cheeks red with embarrassment. I feel my heartbeat quicken as I stare down at the blanket.
"Thank you," I murmur, smiling softly at him.
"No problem," We stare at each other for a moment before Sam tosses me the remote, "You pick what we watch, I'm gonna get snacks," He gives me a slightly awkward smile before heading into the kitchen. I collapse on the couch and snuggle up beneath the weighted blanket. It makes me feel warm and safe. I feel butterflies fluttering around inside me as I think about Sam keeping it for me. I quickly shake the butterflies off, angry at myself for feeling like this.

I force my attention to the tv, using the remote to get to Netflix. I casually scroll through, not knowing what to watch. A couple of films catch my eye but I brush them off when I realise that Sam probably doesn't want to watch anything gay. I don't want to ruin the friendship rebuilding between us. I frown and keep scrolling.
"Michael Valley? No way. Dude it's been like four years!" A voice from the doorway of the room makes me jump in surprise. I turn around and my eyes widen. A girl with shoulder length brown hair, bright blue eyes and freckles is standing there, staring at me. She's wearing blue jeans, an old band t-shirt and a red and black flannel shirt on top of it.  Sam's sister. She's grown up a lot in the past four years. Last time I saw her she was nine years old. She grins at me, leaning against the door frame. I chuckle lightly.

    "Hi Tess, it's been a while. How've you been?" I respond, unable to keep the smile off of my face. She opens her mouth to speak but Sam suddenly appears behind her.
    "Go away Tessa, Michael isn't here to talk to you," He says, playfully nudging Tess out of his way. Tessa scoffs and rolls her eyes,
    "He's too good for you, Sam," She retorts, crossing her arms. Sam pulls a face at her,
    "I know. But he's here to hang out with me anyway," He grins at her at her. Tess shakes her head and looks over at me.
    "Good luck with him," She smirks, turning to leave, "Nice seeing you Michael!" And with that, she disappears through the door.