Not All Who Wander Are Lost

Chapter 11 - The Goodbye

    "Michael, how the hell did you turn the batter pink?!" Alec bursts out laughing as he stares at the bowl of dusty pink cake batter in front of me.
    "I don't know," I say, laughing helplessly. I search through all of the ingredients, trying to figure out what went wrong. Alec joins me, still trying to hold back giggles. After a moment, he picks up a small bottle that I just used. I read the label - Pink Food Dye. "No!" I start laughing again, "I thought it was vanilla extract," I tell Alec, he falls about laughing, still holding the food dye.
    "Oh my god, that's brilliant," He breathes, grinning at me.

Alec and I have been trying, and failing, to make a cake for the past hour or so. It's been chaotic to say the least but it's been a good distraction from...everything. I've definitely needed this. When I woke up this morning, I told Alec what happened between my dad and I. I also told him about Sam, I left out the part where he called me a slur though, I didn't want to relive it ever again. I'd informed his mum about some of the Dad situation and she'd invited me to stay with her and Alec until my mum gets back from Seoul. I quickly agreed.

    "Alec, honey, your phone has been ringing nonstop for the past ten minutes," Alec's mum, Delia, walks into the room, holding out his phone. Alec rolls his eyes and takes it from her.
    "It's so difficult being popular," He jokes, leaning against me as he picks up the call, not bothering to look at the caller ID. "Hello?" He asks cheerfully. Someone speaks on the other end and Alec's expression falls into an angry frown. I've never seen him angry before. "How dare you," He spits after a moment. Then he glances at me before taking the phone away from his ear and putting it on speaker so I can hear too.
    "Alec, just listen mate. I know he's with you," Sam. My anxiety immediately spikes when I hear his voice, I start to panic and Alec gently threads his fingers through mine, squeezing them gently in a reassuring way.

    "Sam you have no right to be doing this," Alec says, his voice angry. Sam scoffs.
    "Michael's my friend. Of course I have a right. I've known him longer than you. I love him more than you ever will," Sam responds, his voice equally angry but also full of guilt. I feel my heartbeat quicken. Even after what he said to me, I can't help but feel this warm, fluttery feeling when I hear those words. And then it hits me. I'm in love with Sam Foster. Again.
I hate myself. Why did I have to fall for this idiot all over again. And why now? Things are starting to look up for me, I have an amazing boyfriend who couldn't be sweeter if he tried. And now I realise I don't like him as much as I want to. I stare at Alec, trying to force my brain to fall for him instead of Sam.

I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to run far far away from Sam Foster and his pretty blue eyes and his fluffy blond hair and his kind, cute smile. I let out a sigh and Sam goes quiet on the other end of the line.
    "Michael?" His voice asks tentatively, "Michael, listen, I'm so sorry. I'm more than sorry. Michael I love you. I love in a romantic way. I've always loved you. And I never stopped, not ever," I stand there, stunned, butterflies rocketing around in my stomach. Alec is staring at me. He has this strange look on his face. I think he knows.
    "Bye Sam," He whispers. Then he hangs up. We stand in complete and utter silence for a moment before Alec says, "Do you want to go upstairs and talk? So my mum can't interrupt?" I nod in response and together we make our way upstairs to his room.

When we get there, we sit next to each other on his bed.
    "You like him, don't you? Maybe love him," Alec says after a moment. I hang my head and nod slowly.
    "Fuck, I'm so sorry Alec," I breathe, clenching my fists in my lap. "I hate this. I hate that I can't stop myself from feeling this," Alec reaches out and takes my hands in his, a sad smile on his face.
    "It's okay, Michael, it really is," He makes eye contact with me and I can tell that he's being honest, "I'm not gonna hold this against you or anything. And you can still stay here as long as you need," He gives me a sad smile and my heart shatters, I hate that I'm hurting him. He stands up, "I really want to stay friends but I just need a few hours to clear my head and stuff before I can be around you in a platonic way,"