Summer Nights

4: 'We wish you a merry Christmas...'

I'm fairly proud to announce that this is the first Christmas in nearly three years that I haven't woken up with a pounding headache. Although, I wish the circumstances for my non-existent hangover was different.

My heart still clenches with pain when my mind flickers back to the panic that enveloping Autumn's face. I just wish there was something I could do to help the process of her healing. I would literally sell my soul, if it meant that she could be okay.

Luke hasn't been the same since he was forced to find out either, I think a part of him always had his suspicions on why she didn't like to be touched but now it's as if his worst nightmares where confirmed. I haven't really spoke to him since, after we dropped of Autumn, he headed straight to the boxing gym to try and get out some of his anger.

Whenever Christmas rolls around the corner, I'm excited of course. I adore every tradition, every second of valued quality family today. But I couldn't help but be hit with an unbearable sadness that my mom wasn't here anymore.

Most of the time I feel ridiculously guilty celebrating and being happy on such a magical holiday without her. Which logically, I know is silly because she would want me to move forward carrying her love with me. But sometimes It felt impossible.

I waltz into the kitchen with a force grin plastered to my face because I know if I let my emotion's show and it'll break my dad's heart. Even though he was happily married to Brooke, he still missed her dearly. We both did.

'Merry Christmas, you beautiful people!' I chirp.

Brooke's eyes widen as she takes in my perky attitude, 'You aren't hungover?'

I shake my head, 'Decided to switch it up this year.'

'And they say Christmas miracles don't exist.' She murmurs before she turns her attention back to peeling the potatoes in-front of her.

I look around the room, 'Where's dad?'

She lets out a small sigh, 'Someone's car broke down on the way to meet their family for lunch, so your father is going to help them. But he'll come straight back, I promise.'

I chew the inside of my cheek, a couple of Christmas' ago when my dad lost his job, he left us for the entire day, so that he could go and gamble. He's always been enticed by various slot-machines or bets. After my mom died, he wounded up in thousands of dollars worth of debt which was meant to be my inheritance money for when I go to college. When he finally came to his senses, he was absolutely distraught. He promised that he would work as hard as he could to get my money back, and I believe him. 

I couldn't even be angry at him either, when people go through such a traumatic loss, you are bound to use unhealthy coping mechanisms which wind up hurting other people in the process. It's unfortunate but true.

'I-I was actually thinking of nipping to work for an hour, one of my residents only gets visited by his grandson but they've had some sort of family emergency, so he might not be able to make it. And I hate the thought of him going all day without a friendly face.'

Brooke gives me a warm smile before gingerly passes me one of the Christmas crackers laid on the kitchen island, 'You have such a beautiful heart, Scarlett.'

My cheeks flush as I flash her a gigantic grin, 'Thank you, I think half of it is how you raised me.'

She shakes her head, 'Nonsense, it's all you baby girl.'

Tears prickle my eyes before I rush over to her and tackle her into a hug. She stumbles slightly but tightens her grip around me. I feel immediately soothed as she starts stroking my hair.