Summer Nights

55: 'Deep chats...'

I turn my head to see Autumn sound asleep next to me, she looked beyond exhausted. She came last night because Luke and her and a huge fight. I always thought that when she visited me from New York, I'd be thrilled to see her but I couldn't be because I knew how broken she was right now.

I reach out and gently stroke her hair before pressing a kiss on the top of her head, I sigh loudly as I attempt to lift myself out of bed. I waddle to my bathroom with my hand on my stomach, I turn my head when I see my bedroom door creek open.

I furrow my eyebrows together when I see Rocky standing there with a white carrier bag, 'What are you doing here?' I whisper.

He lifts up the bag, 'You said that Autumn was sad, so I brought you both some ice-cream.'

My heart swells, 'Angel, you are so sweet.'

'Is she okay?'

I shrug, 'Not really but I'm just trying my best to support her.'

'Is Luke okay? I heard about his dad, he called me.'

'I don't know how he's going to feel, I mean the man was a monster but at the end of day, he was still his dad.'

'...Why was he a monster?'

I give him a sad smile, 'It's not my story to tell.'

'I understand sunshine. I'll go now, I don't want to wake her up, she looks like she needs some sleep.'

'Okay, I'll miss you.'

He laughs softly before he presses a kiss against my lips, 'You'll see me tomorrow.'

'Tomorrow is too far away.'

He wrinkles his nose, 'What did I tell you about being soppy?'

I shrug, 'I don't care.'

'Bye sunshine, I love you.'

I grin at him as I take the bag out of his hands, 'I love you more!'

He shakes his head, 'Impossible.'

I hold my hand against my heart as I let out a sigh of content as he leaves my room, I let out a loud shriek when I turn around and see Autumn sat up rubbing her eyes.

She rolls her eyes, 'Jesus, I don't look that bad do I?'

'No, not at all! It's just you were supposed to be asleep.'

'You're cuteness woke me.' She grumbles.

I laugh softly as I make my way towards my bed, 'Sorry Autie!'

A ghost of smile appears on her face when she takes the bag out of my hands, 'He's a lot nicer, than I thought he was.'

I shrug, 'I know, I feel like he is not the same boy he was running away from in the grocery store, a few months ago.'

'You've changed him, Scar.'

I shake my head, 'There was always a little bit of light in him, he just needed someone to pull it out.'

'You really love him, don't you?'

'More than anything.'

Tears glaze over her eyes, 'That's how I feel about Luke, but I don't want to feel like this anymore.'

My heart drops slightly, 'W-What? Why?'

'Because I'm poison Scar, I'm hurting him so much already and I don't want to hurt him anymore.'

I frown deeply as I reach forward and squeeze her hand, 'Autie, you aren't hurting him, he just cares a lot about you. And you aren't fucking poison, don't say that!'

'I know what I am.'

'Please stop, you aren't poison, you've just been through a fucking lot, you can't expect everything to suddenly be fixed over night.'

'But they have to be!' She cries out, 'Because I can't do this anymore, I'm so fucking exhausted.'

I wrap my arms around her tightly, 'I know, you're exhausted but you don't have to carry all of this pain on your own.'

'I don't want to drag anyone else down with me.'

'But you aren't! We all want to support you, we all want to be there for you and look after you. Why can't you let us?'

'Because...I've trusted people before and I've been let down...fuck even my own mom let me down, she never supported me! She acts like she does but then she gets a new boyfriend and fucks me off!'

'Just because you've dealt with shitty people, that doesn't mean that they aren't so amazing ones out there who can give you the love you deserve.'

'Scarlett?'

'Yeah?'

'Why were you at the therapist office the day my car broke down?'

I freeze for a moment before I inhale a deep breath, 'Mostly because of the loss of my mom, I struggled to comes to terms with it for a long time. And...I struggle with disordered eating but we don't really talk about that.'

Her facial expression falls, 'I didn't realise that you struggled with disordered eating.'

'It's not something I really like to talk about, I'm past it now...for the most part.'

'When? When did this start?'

'I was thirteen, I just wanted to fit in and look pretty, which is stupid but yeah.'

'Scarlett you're beautiful.'

'It doesn't always feel like that.'

'Well, it's the truth. I've actually always been jealous of you.'

I blink rapidly, 'W-What?'

'Yeah, I think that's why I started bullying you because you were the kind of person, I could only dream about being.'

'Well, I've always wanted to be you.'

'Oh.'

'Maybe we should just pull a whole freaky Friday thing for a little bit. Actually wait no, you're dating my brother that would be fucking disgusting.'

She lets out a watery laugh before wiping her cheeks, 'Speaking of your brother, he's going to be home soon.'

'He is.'

'And I don't think I want to fight with him anymore.'

'You don't?'

'No, I don't. You're right, I've got to let people in at some point.'

'I promise you that letting him in, will be one of the best things that you do. He's a good guy.'

'I know he is. He's my best friend.'

'Rude.'

She rolls her eyes, 'Come on, you know what I mean.'

'I know, I'm only teasing you. Don't worry.'

'Scar, there's actually something else I want to talk to you about. I don't think I'm ready for college, I don't think I want to go back to New York. Please, don't hate me.'

I let out a small breath of relief, 'I don't know if I want to go to New York either, I think I want that little family life, I want to get a little house where Rocky and I can live, we can get a fluffy dog and have a swing-set in our back yard...I haven't mentioned this to him yet but honestly, it's my dream. Don't get me wrong, I still want to go to college but I don't even know if I want to do drama anymore. I don't think I'll know anything until the baby s born.'

'I want that for you but only if you have an Autumn room, somewhere I can stay when Luke and I argue.'

'I promise you, I would never get a house without an Autie room.'