I'll always remember us

30. Shivani

I am getting married today.
I am getting married to my childhood crush.
I AM GETTING MARRIED TO MY EX BOYFRIEND.

I AM GETTING MARRIED.

kya jaldi jaldi bade hogaye yaar ham.
It was just yesterday, the 3 of us were playing in the backyard of our house.

I have never in my wildest dream thought that I would be marrying the kid my brother is friends with.

16 year old shivani would be so happy right now, I cannot even imagine.

I always thought, and I know I got over him but sometimes I really think if I ever get a chance to talk to my 16 year old self, what would I say?

If I tell her what happened between us, she would be so sad, it would break her small little heart into pieces.

She loved him so fucking much.
It's the 3 am thought that are driving me crazy right now.

At this time the flashbacks hit hard, like very hard.
Just earlier I remembered something from when I was in 7th and then something from 9th standard, when he started to look extra fine and then 11th standard when actually become my crush and all the girls went gaga over him.

Deep down you know I was always in love with the advit I knew.
18 year old shivani know everything.
25 year old me knows nothing.

But after all I am getting married to that same man today.

Do I hate him?
No, I could never.
Do I like him?
No, there was a time.
But do I just dislike him for breaking my heart without giving me a proper explanation?
Yes.

I atleast deserved some answers.
I get it, his dad was sick, but that didn't give him a right to leave me stranded like that........

"Shivani..."
I hear my mother calling me from outside my room.

I walked outside, saw the lehenga on the long hanger.
That lehenga was so pretty, everytime I looked at it, I was reminded of him.

The makeup artist was standing right beside it signaling me to take a seat.

After some time the makeup was done and I had to leave for the jaimala.

.......

"Don't you think this is really awkward?"
I ask advit as I take a seat on the big couch on that horrendous stage after a full garden of flower petals was showered on me.
I was basically bathing in them.

"It is, but I need to talk to you after after the wedding"
He said in a serious tone.
The topic must be very important.
Well, it is important we are getting married and I am going to be his wife, I can't keep this 'I don't like you attitude'.

"Yea"

........

It was time to leave the mandap, the ceremony was done.
WE WERE OFFICIALLY MARRIED.

I tried to get up bur my lehenga refused to cooperate with me there.
Advit offered his hand to help me get up in because I was wearing almost 47kgs of red mess below my waist.

As soon as I got up, I hear a lady scream loudly.
No, she was screaming, she was crying.

I and advit share a look with each other.
An astonishing look

"Why is she screaming?"
He whispered in my ear

"Idiot, she is crying!!"
I smack his head lightly, in a playful manner.

The next second our mothers went from the happiest person on earth to a sobbing mess.

We shared a look again.