Loving Miss Clueless (Wilder Series #3)

23. Thantophobia

Thantophobia- (noun) the phobia of losing someone that you love

I'm a few hours late posting this, nothing new🙄

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Two weeks later.

I have to be honest.

I am worried about Lynnex and I's relationship.

We have not had any fights or disagreements, but something just feels very off to me.

It could be partially due to the instability of our new relationship rule.

'No public displays of affection'.

I mean, this feeling began two weeks ago when we had that conversation and has not stopped since.

I do not want to break up with Lynnex because the both of us have waited such a long time to be together, but I think that we more so need to break up.

We aren't really evolving or maturing as separate people in this relationship.

Heck, we aren't even maturing together.

From a third party perspective our relationship is not a hundred percent stable at the moment.

Lynnex wants to keep our relationship a secret unless we are behind closed doors, meanwhile I want the entire world to know that I am in a relationship with her.

Lynnex has been making up a ton of excuses recently, specifically whenever Flower asks to meet up with me.

I would usually believe them if it was not for the fact that her excuses are extremely repetitive and she only uses them when Flower is involved.

And lastly Lynnex has also been on the verge of failing all of her classes.

Whenever the two of us are supposed to be studying for our upcoming tests she has been consistently trying to distract me from my homework by riling me up sexually.

Most of the time I am able to reject her, which she understandably accepts, but she ends up distracting me in other random ways.

I always try to convince her to do her homework after she has had her fun but she usually just brushes it off as 'unimportant' and does whatever she wants for the rest of the day.

This one does not bother me as much as the others do but at the same time I do not want her to fail out of school.

I understand that it is her life and she can do whatever she pleases, but I do not think our relationship is helping the situation.

Instead I think that it is making everything worse.

As much as it is going to hurt each of us to do this, I need to let her go so that the both of us can mature on our own and find ourselves without relying about the other person.

I think that there is a possibility that the two of us got into a relationship so quickly that we never really stopped to just make sure that we were mentally ready to take care of another person.

I make sure to keep my distance from the golden haired girl as we arrive at a random diner near the park.

She reaches out and opens the diner door, holding it open for me.

We enter the small diner and slowly make our way over towards an empty booth.

Since it is only four in the afternoon the diner is not too busy, but it is not necessarily empty either.