At first I was determined to say no, but then when I looked at him, I couldn't leave.
I tried to look away, I tried to put him behind me, but the thing that will never change is that I only feel at home and safe with him.
So I decided to stay.
"Denise? Can I talk to you for a minute?", I ask her as I come back into the living room.
"Of course sweetie. What is it? I thought you left," she says and we walk a bit away from the others.
"I was wondering if I could stay here for a few days. I'm quite stressed at the moment and I'd like to take a break," I say and she just smiles kindly at me.
"Of course. You can stay here as long as you want. You know you can always feel at home here," she says, still smiling.
I just nod. "Thank you"
"You don't have to thank me. I'll fix up the guest room for you" she says and walks out of the room.
When she's done, I go up to the room where Denise is already waiting.
"If there's anything, we're one floor below you. Jobe and Jude said they're staying for the weekend too, so Jude is in his old room right next door," she tells me.
We wish each other a good night and then she disappears from the room.
She must be tired after being the centre of attention all evening.
I sit down on my bed and write to Lukas first that I won't be taking on any jobs for the next while as I'm taking a little break.
After discussing this with him for almost an hour, we finally come to my decision. He says it's not a good idea because I could destroy my career that way, but I really don't care. I'd rather be happy and have given up my career for this than ruin myself.
After sitting on my bed for 5 minutes looking at nothing, I get up to go downstairs to the kitchen to make myself something to drink.
I try to open the door as quietly as I can so that no one hears me.
I also walk down the stairs as quietly as I can. They'll let me stay here for a few days, so I can be quiet and not wake them up now.
Down in the kitchen, I close the door and then turn away from her to the shelf where the glasses are.
I pour myself a glass of water and drink it all in one go.
Then I turn around with the glass in my hand and my gaze stops at the open door.
I've just closed it properly, haven't I?
