Unwanted Mates

Chapter 30: "The way she looks at me"

Hannah, above

SMUT warning in this chapter

Mikkeli POV

The way she looks at me, finally with no judgment, makes me relax, even if only a little bit. I have never been this nervous in my entire life. Kyle was forced to tie my tie because my hands were shaking so much that I couldn't have done it properly.

As a sign of peace, Hayden chose my suit for me, the blue one. I don't have that many of them because I wear them really rarely, but still, even choosing between five was difficult for me. I wanted to look perfect today; I wanted this night to be perfect. I wanted to be perfect for her. I think Hayden noticed how nervous I was because there was no scolding from him nor reminding me again I should treat her right or he will interfere.

I was waiting for her near the main entrance to the packhouse, and once she came, it literally took my breath away. She's stunning; she's wearing a green velvet dress which makes her figure look even more delicious; her makeup and hair are perfect, and she is perfect. But what made me the happiest was that she smiled at me, and I could see only pure joy and happiness on her face.  Finally no uncertainty or alertness in my presence.

During our almost two hours ride to the city, we didn't talk, just enjoyed the silence, but all the time, she let me hold her hand, and that was enough for me to help me control my nervousness. 

The nervousness went up a level higher again when we parked in front of the restaurant I had decided to take her. Maybe it's not the fanciest place in the town but elegant and fancy enough to feel high and relaxed at the same time. Plus, this place for sure has the best French cuisine in the state.

We talk, enjoying our meal, and finally, there is no seriousness in our conversation. We talk about random things, we finally play 20 questions, and I smile as she tells me funny stories about her siblings' early childhood. I answer her questions about how the pack money is managed and how ranch and horse breeding is the main source of pack funding. We talk about the school the twins should be enrolled in soon, the one nearest to our territory where all the children from my pack and three more packs go. We joke about Rosie making me her private pony on whose back she can ride wherever she likes it.

 A gentle smile doesn't leave her face, her eyes are shining, and my nervousness is slowly fading away. I feel good with her; I feel relaxed with her; I feel so fucking happy with her.

But, at the same time, as always, I can hear my father at the backside of my head repeating that I will not be able to do this. I will not be able to make her love me, and I will not be able ever to hurt her. Alphas should only be warriors and killing machines, not cheerful and happy family men. They are to be respected and feared; loved Alphas are weak Alphas.

"Mikkeli, are you alright? You spaced out a little bit?" Hannah says and makes me look at her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to; I was just thinking," I respond to her question.

" Thinking about what?"

"My father, but I don't want to talk about him."

That was harsh, she looks a little bit taken aback by my statement, but I can't help it. I don't want to talk about my father, especially not with her.

"Would you like to dance?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

She nods, and we slowly walk toward the dancing floor. I put my hands on her waist, holding her close to my chest. We slowly sway to the music's rhythm, I haven't danced in ages, but I know how to. My stepmother made sure that Hayden and I were taught how to dance.