Chapter 34

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Charlotte's POV

I tap my phone to see the time as I lie awake in my bed. The phone lights up lighting up most of my room. "It's so fucking bright I might go blind," I say. I turn down the brightness and read the screen. 12:08 Saturday, November 15th. Shit. I've been dreading this day then forgot and I don't know how. I'm a bad daughter. "Happy birthday Mom," I say looking up hoping she can hear me. I lie staring at the ceiling for the rest of the night. As the light starts to shine into my room I stay looking at the ceiling. At around 11 there's a knock on my door. I turn to my side away from the door and stare at the wall.

"Charlie?" The voice says. I can't focus enough to think who it is. After my no response, they leave. I turn back over to my back and stare at the ceiling. I feel like I physically can't move. Around 1 I get up knowing I can't stay in bed longer. I catch sight of myself in the mirror. I have big eye bags and my hair is a mess.

"You look bad," Sandro says when I pass him. I flip him off and keep walking. I walk to the kitchen and open the fridge. I look in and then realize I'm not hungry.

"You want me to make you something?" Nic asks.

"I'm good I'm not hungry right now," I say and leave. I walk aimlessly around the house not focusing on where I am. I have walked past this door at least five times now or more because it's now dinner. I sit down and grab a bit of food.

"That's all your eating Bambina?" Gio asks. 

"Yeah I'm not that hungry is that okay?" I don't know why I asked for his approval.

"Are you feeling okay?" He asks. No not at all.

"Yeah," I say. After dinner, I go back to my room and lie back in bed. 

"Charlie," Gio says. 

"Yes."

"I just came to check on you. Is everything okay?" He gives me a look not to lie, but too bad.

"Yeah, I'm tired I think I'm gonna go to bed," I lie. I feel dead inside and look like it too.

"Good night," he kisses my head and feels it to make sure I'm fever-free. At 9 I decide I can no longer lie around helplessly. I need to feel something. I brush my hair which takes a while because of the knots. I brush my teeth, put on makeup, and get dressed in black leather pants and a tight red cropped tank top. I put pillows in my bed and climb out the window closing it almost the whole way. At the underground fight, I met a guy and he said he could hook me up with anything. I take out one of my burner phones and call him.

"Hello," his deep voice says.

"I need a car I can race," I say emotionless.

"Ahh Tigris. It will be on the corner of 29th by the Staples," he says and hangs up. I make my way to the corner and sure enough, there's a red Ferrari F12 and keys. Thanks, dude. I get in adjust the seat and head to where the race is happening. I get there and register for the next race as one just started when I arrived. I wait getting ready while the cars around me also get ready. I look around. I can easily beat everyone. I'm Tigris for fucks sake. The cars from before come in a Black Porche comes in first. The car looks familiar, but I've seen a bunch of black Porches so I shrug it off and drive to the starting line. I look in my side mirror and shit the owner of the black Porche is Sandro of course he's here. I can't let him get in my head. I'm here for my mom and to feel something a rush. I turn my attention to the guy with the flag he holds it up and then brings it down signaling for us to go. I hit the gas as hard as I could. I pass a bunch of cars. The race goes on the highway till the first exit and takes a back road that loops us back to the starting line. There are five cars in front of me. I watch two that hug the line between lanes and wait for the perfect time before switching lanes and taking the outside passing them. Two cars are boxing me off as the highway splits into three lanes with me between them. I have to think. I slow down throwing off the two who close in hitting each other scrapping their cars and hitting the side rail. I hit my gas passing them both. Second place getting off the highway. I smile. The feeling of speed and the wheel in my hands. I spot the guys in front of me and at the last second, I speed up passing him and getting first. I still have it.

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