13 Years of Struggle

Chapter 36

It was the next morning after me and James had...intercourse. I stood by the doorway thinking of what had just happened. I sighed. I was so confused. I mean it was good or great even but I had told him no and he didn't even care. He just continued on. Now thinking about it. It actually wasn't so great...

I decided to not think about it anymore and I sighed and stood by Anais and Kolson. Anais was sitting against the brick wall and Kolson was staring out the dirty, dusty window. Anais looked over towards me.

I turned my head away from her gaze and held my head down. She soon asked. " Something bothering you Claire?"

I shook my head quickly and looked over at her with a fake smile. " No, everything is fine Anais."

She sighed and got up and walked over towards me. She put her hand on my shoulder. " Claire. I'm not an idiot. Something is bothering you. What is it?"

" Nothing. I'm fine. Really." I answered, trying to sound as normal as I could.

She crosses her arms and groans. " Stop lying and tell me what is the matter Claire. Please?"

I hesitated before answering. " Me and James... had Sexs last night for the first time."

She raised her eyebrow and kept her arms crossed. " Oh... I see. But why do you look bothered?"

I sighed and answered her question. " James... He... I told him no but he continued anyway. I feel weak now because I didn't say anything afterwards. I just let him do it."

Her eyes widened a little but she kept her composure and spoke quietly. " You told him no and he continued anyway? What the fuck? Why would James do that? Since when does he act like that?"

I replied. " I don't know, I just wanna forget about it. It's over with anyway. I can't change anything."

" You are not going to forget about it." She pulled me behind a wall and looked around to see if any of the others were listening. She turned back to me. " Claire he raped you. You can't just sweep this under the rug."

I sighed and answered. " I know Anais. But I'm so fucking embarassed and I feel like I'm weak because I let him have his way."

She replied. " Claire, you are not weak. Far from it. I've seen you bite a guy's nose off and kill those other men when they attacked us back during the start. You are strong. You were just put into a situation you had never been in before."

I laughed a little and shrugged. " Yeah, I guess I'm not weak."

She nodded. " Claire, you are a badass. You just think you're weak from what you couldn't prevent. Now I'm gonna go kick James's ass so bad for what he did to you."

She started walking away from me. But I soon grabbed her arm.           " Anais no. I know he is a bastard. But I don't want any more fighting. We have had enough of that. Just let me handle this."

She groaned and asked. " How are you gonna handle this?"

I soon replied to her question. " I'll tell him how he shouldn't have done that and I'll tell him that we're done. I can't trust him ever again after what he did. I just can't."

" So you're telling him it's over? Alright. But if he tries anything. I'll be ready." She tapped the holster on her leg with her hand.

" There will be no need for that. Now I'm just gonna go get this over with." I took a deep breath and looked over at Anais. " Wish me luck."

She just held her thumb up and I sighed and quickly walked away from her towards James. He was talking with Greta, Kala, and Jesse about something. Who the hell knows?