umbrella { sunjay }

11.

song recommendation: when we were young -adel

"what do you think the future will look like?" sena asked into the deepness of the night as she steadily rocked back and forth on the swing.

"i'm not sure... but i have a wish." jongseong held out his index finger to emphasize the single number. 

the two teenagers were sat peacefully in the dark night that shadowed itself upon the jungle gym and swing set that belonged to the empty park. 

it was their final year of high school, both seventeen and so bright eyed with hope. secretly, (but not-so-secretly)  jongseong had the the biggest crush on the girl with flowing, dark locks of hair that matched her cosmic brown irises. 

he told himself that tonight was the night, that tonight he would finally confess after four years. 

the very first day of ninth grade year was the day he was enamored to the girl. sena, unaware of the heart-shaped eyes gawking at her, sat directly beside jay. the latter felt as if his heart was bound to rip through his chest and roll onto the tiled flooring. maybe then, it would stop beating fast enough to electrify an entire city.

"i'm park jongseong, but you can call me jay." the boy, hopelessly in love at first sight, suddenly spoke without self control of the words escaping.

sena tilted her head slightly at the announcement from the boy she didn't notice the presence of. the evident nervousness that was practically spelled across his forehead in bold lettering, forced her to choke down a giggle.

"park sena." was all she responded, with a small grin that tickled it's way onto her lips. 

the boy was interesting, to say the least. he was one of the guys that's only wish in high school was to be cool. but for an odd reason, it worked. naturally, his appearance wasn't out of the world because he had barely hit puberty, but he was handsome none the less. 

his smile was contagious and friendly; inviting. his cheeks still had it's baby fat and no matter how scary he attempted to be, he was not. friends were easy for him to make but he chose to keep his circle small and stay to himself for the most part.

sena was the same, so she didn't mind his company. he wasn't wild or a try-hard like the others. he was real.

the two new friends sat next to each other for the remainder of the year. and for the following years of their academic careers, the two became closer and closer to one another. 

jay had made the girl fall for his charms. she really, really, liked him. through and through. 

"what's your wish?" as time progressed and graduation approached, the fear of losing one another grew. the fear of getting older, the fear of nothing being the same anymore. it was all there.

somedays they chose not speak a word. knowing their words would lead to tears. 

it was internally crushing to feel the ticking of time and there was nothing they could do. there was no way to stop the time from fleeing like loose sand seeping between their fingers.

"i wish to marry you one day." 

sena paused her mindless swaying and looked over to her best friend. the one she shared her first kiss with. the one she shared many other firsts. 

"jay..." she was at a lost for speech. they had both silently agreed that they were only for each other but they had never truly admitted it out loud. 

"i'm serious. i know we're young and everyone will think we're dumb for having a wish so naive. but that's my wish." the seventeen year old spoke with such fluidity and confidence that even a stranger would believe his nonsense. 

the thing about growing up is that you're always unsure. whether that be a relationship, a career path, a feeling. you'll always have a voice in the back of your head filled with question.

stepping into the unknown will always be a challenge. graduating from the comfort of being a child into the frightening future of being an adult.

but your life doesn't end when you graduate. nor does it end when you and the person you believed would be in your life forever, isn't. 

life doesn't end when you turn a new age, nor does it end when you fail a math test you studied a total of five minutes for. 

everyday is when your life begins. 

when that nagging feeling of self-doubt or unsureness creeps onto you and attaches itself like a parasite, you know you'll keep going.

you know you'll keep going because life keeps going.

and that's exactly what happened to the two highschoolers. once graduation arrived, they held onto their hugs a little tighter, held hands a little longer, and smiled a little brighter. because they knew life would continue.

unfortunately, the couple's puppy love wasn't able to grow into a full grown adult. jay attended the university of seoul, finding his love for teaching others and enjoying his university days. and sena moved aground, traveling everywhere across south korea. 

the years passed and perhaps the people who spoke about their naiveness were correct. well, up until the two strangers were twenty three.

sena decided to settle down in seoul for a while and just so happened to be at the right place at the right time. 

she let her mind wonder as she gazed upon the large canvases in front of her eyes. the splashes of colors jumped out at her, as if they were 3d. as if she could reach her hands out and grab onto the paint strokes.

"this one is my favorite." 

the woman had been so engrossed and infatuated with with the artwork hanging on display that she failed to feel the presence standing directly to her left.

"jay." 

her eyes gaped wide at the sight of the person she least expected to see.

and suddenly, they were fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, and eighteen, once again.

suddenly, the nervous boy with an american accent introduced himself to the prettiest girl he had ever seen. his false confidence seeping through his façade.

"hi." they both were winded and at a loss for words. not seeing one another for almost half a decade changed everything but nothing at all.

and jongseong's wish was fulfilled. 

the high school sweethearts married a year later. 

one thing the two had failed to pay attention to was how much things had changed. they wanted to love one another so deeply, they had failed to consider how different they were from before. how much they've grown, how much they've learned, how much they wanted from life. 

the teenage wish was in the palm of their hands and the couple didn't want it to slip.

this, this was their moment of being naive.

❀

had to give you guys some jay lore