umbrella { sunjay }

44.

song recommendation: bloom -the paper kites

"happy birthday, eunjoo!" sunoo gently shook the girl awake from her slumber. it was finally may sixteenth, five years since kim eunjoo had appeared into the world. and five years since myung eunji had left the world. 

"grandpa, grandma, and auntie misun, are waiting downstairs with pancakes waiting for you." he picked the girl up, holding her in his arms snuggly as she still gained consciousness.

"pancakes?" her eyes were droopy, barely staying open, but a sleepy smile played on her lips ay the sound of her favorite breakfast meal.

"yup, so you have to hurry and put on the outfit that grandma picked out for you." sunoo smiled bright. today was a new day, it was eunjoo's day. so all the feelings he had gone through the night before would stay in the past.

it was time to celebrate the one person that changed his entire life for the better. 

❀

sunoo watched the baby's chest fall up and down as she slept peacefully, unaware of anything bad in the world. 

he couldn't believe he was a father now. he couldn't believe something so beautiful was created because of him. 

but he did feel a sense of sadness for the baby. her small ears would never hear the sound of her mother's voice, never hear the sound of her laughter, never hear her singing to her.

she would never see her face in person. only behind a screen of pictures. she would never be able to attempt to count the light freckles that scattered across eunji's face. she would never hold her warm hands. 

she would never feel her mother's love.

and the worst part is that sunoo couldn't do anything about it. eunji didn't deserve that... eunjoo didn't deserve that. 

the pad of his thumb scanned across the plump cheek of the sleeping newborn. she was beautiful, yes. but not only that, she was his. his baby. 

and he would give her all the love he could. he would be both parents. or he would at least die trying.

obviously he could never replicate the love from her mother, but he would try. 

❀

"there's the birthday girl!" sunoo's father echoed as he stood up from the table to swing the girl around in his arms.

sunoo laughed at the interaction. eunjoo was definitely a grandparents girl. they adored her and would spoil her a million times over, even when sunoo said it was too much. since she was the only grandchild, it was worse.

"good morning, lovey. happy birthday!" sunoo's sister, misun greeted her with a big kiss on the cheek, right where her dimple sat. 

after all her morning greetings, the family all sat at the table to enjoy their quality time and breakfast. 

there were plans set for the day ahead so they weren't rushing last minute to figure out what to do. 

"are you excited to go visit your mommy?" sunoo's mom questioned the girl as she put more syrup onto her plate.

the first thing on their list of activities was to go to visit eunji's grave. it was an unbreakable tradition that sunoo had instilled. this year was the first year that eunjoo would tag along on her birthday so it was more special than ever.

"yes! i'm excited to see the butterfly!" eunjoo lifted her fork excitedly into the air. it was a while since her first time going to visit eunji's tombstone and she was excited to go back. 

"butterfly?" sunoo's mother turned her head towards him with a puzzled look. the only person besides eunjoo that knew about the monarch butterfly, was misun. his sister was the only other witness to the amazing experience they had last time.

"yeah, every time i visit eunji, a butterfly lands near, as if she sent it herself. it reports back everything we say to her. right, joo?" he winked to the girl in front of him that nodded eagerly. 

she was excited to talk about her mom's butterfly. it was from her, and that's what made it so special.

"ahh, i see! that's very kind of her to send a helper to tell her what you guys say. you have a nice mommy." sunoo's mom pinched the little girl's cheek who had a look of pride all over her face. her mom was the nicest.

everyone had finished eating and it was time for sunoo and eunjoo to leave, the girl couldn't wait any longer, and sunoo wouldn't ask her to. it was her birthday anyway.

after putting on shoes, sunoo opened the front door, ready to step out. only to stop dead in his tracks.

"appa!" 

eunjoo screamed, pushing past sunoo and running as fast as she could, to jump into the male's arms. 

sunoo was still in disbelief as he stood there with his mouth hung gaping open. his mind was completely blank.

jay set down the bag that was in his hand and completely engulfed the girl into his embrace. 

"i missed you so much, my bear." he spoke just above a whisper as he held her tight.

the sound of eunjoo bursting into sobs was the only reply he got in return. his shirt was filling with tears but he could not care any less. "appa." she weakly repeated again in between her sobs.

"i'm here, baby." he patted the back of her head, trying to sooth her from her fits of wailings.

"jay..." sunoo whispered dumbfoundedly. so many questions, he had so many questions but he didn't say a thing.

his daughter was having a moment and he would never even imagine ruining it. he heard how she cried and that made the guilt increase in his heart. he already could measure how much she had been missing jongseong.

sunoo felt that he was the cause of her tears.

he was the one who kept them apart, after all.

finally her cries had subsided and she lifted her head from jay's shoulder. she placed her hand on his face, trying to figure out if it was her imagination playing a trick on her, or if he was actually there.

jay's eyes creased, as his smile stretched at the girl. it hadn't even been a month and he felt like he was going crazy without that little face staring at him. 

"happy birthday, eunjoo-ah." he lifted his hand to rid her face of the water that drenched her beautiful eyes.

it felt like the stars had finally aligned.

❀

so cuteee