umbrella { sunjay }

34.

song recommendation: back to the old house -the smiths

as the evening arrived, jongseong knew his time of departure was approaching. it wasn't something that he wanted, but he knew he couldn't just run away from his problems into the arms of his friend and his daughter.

"i think it's time for me to go..." jay sighed as he looked over to sunoo and eunjoo who sat next to him on the couch as they watched the ending credits of the disney movie they watched. 

"do you have to?" eunjoo's lips formed into a pout. she was having the most fun she had in a little while. of course she didn't want the day to complete.

"i think so, little bear." jay frowned and softly pinched the girl's squishy cheek. the nickname had flowed naturally since the morning when he woke up to a stuffed bear laying beside him. 

now every time he seen a bear, he knew he'd be reminded of the little girl that began to steal his heart.

"he'll come back soon. right, hyung?" sunoo asked as his eyes met the other's, with a look that meant he was asking for assurance that they would see each other again. a glint of fear traveled in his honey brown eyes. 

the fact that he even had to question jay's return, killed the older inside. he hated that he instilled this into the younger. 

he hated himself for it.

"yeah, i'll be back soon." it was a promise. 

as jay stood in the doorway of the apartment he had grown fond of, he picked up eunjoo to give her a bear hug. 

before setting her down, he felt a small peck placed onto his left cheek. 

his heart almost bursted through his chest. sunoo looked at them with surprise and a big smile on his lips. he wished he had a camera to take a picture of one of the cutest scene's he's probably ever seen.

"bye mr. park!" eunjoo said her last goodbyes before walking away to go back into the living area.

jay was still stunned and almost close to crying once again. he wasn't going to shed any tears but his heart was overwhelmed with warmth.

"she really likes you, hyung." sunoo commented as he walked over to get his goodbye from the older.

"i really like her too." this was officially now marked his favorite day in his calendar.

"i won't leave again sunoo. just give me time to sort my life out a bit. it feels like everything is in shambles around me." jay sighed. just thinking about what he left the night before made him feel heavy again. 

"it's okay, hyung. you don't owe me anything. take your time." sunoo brought the latter into a hug. it seemed like he needed it more than the older.

"i'll see you soon." jay spoke again into sunoo's hair. 

he won't make the same mistakes again, but he needed to get himself together first.

❀

his car pulled up to the familiar house that looked like the home from his nightmares now.

after work tomorrow, he planned to go to the courthouse and do what he should have done months ago. 

but for now, he needed to go inside and get ready for bed. 

the door made a click after it closed behind him, indicating someone had entered the quiet house.

all the lights were off as he walked through. almost like no one was home. he knew sena had to be somewhere.

but he didn't want to see her anyway.

as he made it down the hallway, he passed the main bedroom until he heard the woman's voice.

"jay?" 

sena called out from the only room that emitted light throughout the home. her voice caused him to pause his movements and slowly turn his head towards the door that had a peek of light seeping out from it not being closed all the way.

"what." he knew he couldn't avoid her forever. it was impossible since they live in the same house.

he pushed the door open but remained in the hallway, he refused to enter the room where he last got his heart shattered. the memories were still fresh and replayed in his head like a terrible movie.

"you were at sunoo's house. weren't you?" 

the woman sat at the end of her bed and had a knowing look on her face. there was no other place her husband would choose to go. she knew that.

"what does it matter?" jay's face remained stoic, he wouldn't let her see how her voice carrying the syllables of sunoo's name made him feel anger rise inside him. she had no right to ask him a question about his whereabouts anymore.

"stop with the bullshit games. stop denying how you feel about that man. anyone can see it." jay's blank expression broke as he furrowed his eyebrows. but sena wasn't finished.

"you're a coward, jay. and i mean that in the nicest way possible. you act like it's rocket science to figure out that you're practically in love with him. you have never once, looked at me how you look at kim sunoo. not even when we were kids." 

there was a moment of silence as the man process everything that had just been spat at him. he felt all five stages of grief as he heard her speak. he didn't understand where this was suddenly coming from but he did at the same time.

maybe this is what he needed. to be slapped with reality.

"there's no use in pretending like what i'm saying right now, isn't true when i know you'd rather be standing in front of him right now." she wasn't dumb. not in the slightest. that's one of the charms that jay liked about her when they were younger.

she was never clueless and always blunt about her opinions. 

"goodnight." 

was the only words he said before walking away and into the guest room. there was no way he would continue to entertain a conversation with her. especially when there was so many more important things for them to discuss.

what she said racked on his brain for the remainder of the night. 

sleep was farther than what he could reach that night.

❀

how do we feel about sena rn?