umbrella { sunjay }

23.

song recommendation: not strong enough -boygenius

sena made her way towards the place she's called her home for well over a year. as she walked closer to the front entrance, her eyebrows furrowed together, creating a crease between them.

she noticed an unfamiliar car sitting in their driveway. 

since it was now the weeknd, she expected to see jongseong's vehicle sitting in it's usual spot. but she was not anticipating for another to be sitting besides it.

her confusion was only increasing as she unlocked the hatch of the door to find a second pair of masculine shoes, adjacent to the usual pair that jay wears. she knew he had multiple pairs of shoes but he would always put away the pair he wasn't using at the moment. 

plus, she knew jay's taste for expensive fashion and those were far from the typical look her husband went for. 

she closed the door behind her and slowly approached the coat rack, finding just what she expected.

another foreign item. a baby blue cardigan. 

now, she was almost one hundred percent sure someone else had entered their home because jay preferred to wear darker colors and didn't own anything similar to this pull-over.

with this new suspicion, she took off her shoes as quietly as possible. afterwards she removed her coat and told herself to keep calm. 

jongseong had obviously invited another guest to their house without her knowledge, and that fact alone was enough to ignite her fuse. 

a million different scenarios entered her brain as her steps trotted almost silently down the hallway. she took a deep breath before opening her room to find nothing. it was just as she left it before her disappearance.

unconvinced, her eyelids narrowed and she spun on her heel. 

she continued walking to the room adjacent to the main room. she tilted her head at the space between the doorframe and the wooden door.

not letting herself drown in her thoughts, she soundlessly pushed the wood to peer into the guest room. 

the sight before her almost took her breath away, almost instantaneously. 

her onyx colored eyes stared at the bodies that laid connected on the mattress that sat in the center of the room.

shock would be too little of a word to describe her emotions. 

her gaze lingered over every inch of their attached frames. the way jongseong's head lied in the crook of the other's neck. the way his arms brought them together, as if they were morphed into one. the way their legs tangled in the sheets.

she observed it all.

without warning, she felt a sting in her eyes. as if they were being burned at the sight in front of her. as if it was tearing through her cornea like the someone had used a thin blade to slice to their hearts content.

however, the burning wasn't aching because of the possibility of jongseong committing adultery. she didn't believe he was such a type of person.

no, the aching was from the way he held the second male so delicately. as if he was the most fragile piece of fine china. as if he was afraid to let go. as if he was scared of losing the other.

that, was what brought the salty liquid into her eyes. 

because she knew he had never held her like that. with that much passion, even in his subconscious state.

now she understood.

it was like her eyes had been opened for the first time as she stood in the doorway of the guest bedroom. she wanted to ignore the truth for as long as she could. she wanted to forget and try to live normally. 

but the truth is, they were never in love.

maybe something close to it in high school, but it was only short lived. they had become so accustom to the normalcy of each other, that they had neglected the truth.

sena silently backed away and returned the door to it's previous state. she then, retracted her steps and inaudibly made her way towards the kitchen. 

a coffee is what she needed. 

as the machine poured out the dark brown liquid from it's dispenser, she stared blankly. far away from reality.

❀

"will you marry me?" jongseong lowered his left knee onto the wooden flooring. 

he had surprised sena with a new home. he wanted to start this new found family in a new found place. 

the moment he set the keys into her palm, she knew he was fully committed. it was the sweetest thing anyone had one for her.

"yes, of course." she pulled him from the ground into a bear hug, squeezing tightly.

this had to be one of the happiest days of her life. 

❀

"fuck." she yelped as she snapped from her trance to find that the scorching coffee had began to pour over the counter.

she sighed and hurriedly cleaned up her mess. afterwards, she set her mug down in front of her seat, at the center of the table. she placed one sugar cube into the bitter caffeine.

one sip and the bitter sweet tart flavor was almost identical to the bitterness in her heart.

although she knew they weren't in love, she still loved jay. that was the bitter-sweetness. 

this felt like her breaking point as she stared into the pitch blackness that filled her cup. what she saw, was only a reflection of herself. 

she wished she didn't allow herself to fill her own mind with delusions that maybe one day, their love would be the same as it was all those years ago. 

sena knew her outbursts and anger just worsened everything. but she couldn't help but to be angry at the world and everyone in it for not allowing them to have the happy ending that sixteen year old them wanted.

it seemed like she was just betting on losing dogs. and it fucking hurt. it hurt so much that she changed who she was. she became someone else and they were never the same.

neither one of them were the villain.

as she sat there, doing nothing, and staring at her reflection. she suddenly heard noise from the guest bedroom.

perhaps this was the end. 

❀

no sena slander around here🚫