umbrella { sunjay }

15.

song recommendation: apocalypse by cigarettes after sex 

"have a seat on the floor while i grab us some spoons." sunoo placed the ice cream down on the coffee table in front of jay before exiting the room.

unfortunately, as soon as the other male had left, jay's mind became clouded once again with a haze.

he thought about where the marriage had gone wrong. it had only been a few months longer than a year since they had their wedding.

was it just him to blame? it sure felt like it. 

the look in sena's eyes when she expressed how tired she was, created a shockwave through jongseong. he knew she wasn't talking about sleep. it had never been about sleep.

this was how it's felt for the past however-long. 

"i'm back!" the brightness that emitted of the man dragged jay from his harmful inner monologue.

sunoo wasn't dumb or clueless. he observed how jay seemed to jump from his thoughts at the sound of his voice.

"so, what movie would you like to watch?" sunoo sat in the place beside the other, their backs rested on the front of the sofa.

"i'll watch anything you put on." with the remainder of his energy, jay forced out a weak smile.

"if you insist..." 

throughout the first twenty minutes, sunoo was the only one to enjoy the treat and film. jongseong's eyes were trained on the television but his mind was far away from the characters on the screen.

sunoo took a bite of the ice cream and paused his actions when his peripheral vision caught the state the older was in. 

the man took the spoon from his mouth a pressed the pause button on the controller. 

still, the other seemed unfazed as he kept his blank stare.

"jay hyung..." sunoo's gentle voice awoke the dissociating male next to him.

"is it okay if i call you hyung? i know we haven't known each other for long but..." jay's head gave a small nod to signify that it was fine.

"are you-" sunoo didn't want to come off the wrong way. all he wanted was to know what was flowing through the man's mind. it was none of his business, but it felt like it was his business to help. 

"i want to ask you if you're okay but clearly you aren't." the younger turned his entire body from facing forward, to facing the other. as they sat in front of the couch, sunoo propped his elbow onto the cushion while resting his head on his hand.

"i know you probably don't want to talk about it. especially with me..." a small breathy chuckle escaped his lips while the other sat in complete silence. 

jay's eyes searched through the other's entire face, deciding if he could trust and open up to this person he had basically just met. 

was it okay for him to share his thoughts and feelings about a major part of his life to a man he knew almost nothing about?

sunoo took a deep breath before continuing. "how about i tell you something about my life that is quite embarrassing but also extremely serious? and then maybe we can build a sort of trust because you'll know something that not a lot of people know about me." a gleam of hope shinned through his honey brown eyes.

"okay..." jay wasn't sure if this would make him trust the other more and able to rant about his failing marriage but he couldn't say no.

"don't uh... don't judge me or anything." jay seen how the lamp's orange hue highlighted the upcoming pink tent that spread across sunoo's cheeks.