umbrella { sunjay }

41.

song recommendation: the night we met -lord huron

sunoo took eunjoo out the following day, trying to distract her mind from realizing that she wouldn't see the other male that day, nor the next.

the two ended up at their favorite places; the ice cream parlor. which may have been a mistake on sunoo's end since it seemed that the girl remembered the day they had first met heera and jay. they went to the very same ice cream shop.

"daddy, when is appa coming?" the girl tilted her head as she looked up to her father. it was beginning to get further into the evening and eunjoo realized she hadn't seen the man for the entire day. she expected him to join them by now.

like he always does. 

sunoo was unprepared for her to say the inevitable thing she would eventually notice. but he wasn't exactly ready to answer.

"eunjoo, you know mr. park is... a friend, right?" he said slowly, wanting to make sure she understood the situation.

"yeah." the girl nodded, showing she was well aware and picked up her spoon with her unbroken arm, to scoop the mint chocolate dessert from her cup.

"so... why do you want to call him 'appa'?" he never wanted her to feel like her choices were incorrect or wrong. he just wanted to encourage her to be sure of herself and to know why she chooses to do something.

"because he treats me how you do. and i love him." her immature teeth were showing as she smiled a big smile. she was young, young enough not to fully comprehend the word 'love'. but no matter how old you are, you still have feelings. 

and she felt love for jay, just as she did her real father. just as the same love she had been receiving for her entire existence.

sunoo frowned, unaware that she had such a strong opinion of jongseong. he wasn't sure if that was a regret or not.

"i see..." he gave a thin smile and looked away, afraid that his true emotion would appear behind his mask and show itself. 

after their day out had concluded, they returned home to their small apartment and put on their favorite pajamas. the day hadn't ended yet, they still agreed to spend the remainder of the night watching movies together.

the two got the fluffiest blanket they owned and snuggled up onto the couch, readying themself for their movie, 'the jungle book'.

as the movie played, sunoo felt the girl shift beside him so that she was facing him. sensing she had something to say, the male paused the movie and waited until she was ready to speak her mind.

sunoo's goal was for her to always feel like she had a safe space with him to say whatever she needed. she would never have to question if she's allowed to speak about something with her father.

"he's not coming... is he?" 

her big hazel eyes that held all the stars in the universe stared at the person who gave her life, as she waited for the answer to a question she had already figured out.

sunoo nibbled on his bottom lip as he hesitated to disappoint his little girl. it hadn't even been a day and she had already figured everything out. 

sunoo had raised an incredibly smart child.

slowly, he shook his head side to side, confirming her suspicions. "no baby, he's not..."

the bear in the movie reminded eunjoo of the man who had suddenly walked into her life. 'little bear' the nickname that he had given her one day had stuck with her and probably would always stick with her. 

"why?" she wanted to understand. she had seen him every day for months and suddenly he's here one day and the next, he's gone.

"sometimes things are harder in life than we want them to be. so i thought, if things went back to just you and me, like how they used to be... that life will be less difficult." he tried to explain to her the best he could. 

"so we won't see him again?" her eyes glassed over, afraid to hear her father's answer.

"i don't think so, no." sunoo told the truth. he would always keep his promise of honesty to her.

she didn't want to never see jay again. he made her laugh. he played with her. he cooked yummy foods that she loved. he always seemed to show up whenever she began to miss him. it was hard to accept he wouldn't show up at their door with her favorite snacks, just to make her smile.

the girl cried that night in her father's arms until she fell asleep. 

❀

"are you excited for your birthday, joo-ah?" sunoo looked into the backseat through the rearview mirror. they were on their way to suwon so they could celebrate eunjoo's birthday with their family.

"yeah." she spoke quietly as she stared out the car window with no expression. sunoo frowned, reattaching his eyes onto the road. 

every night she had been crying herself to sleep while sunoo held her, fingers running through her hair, telling her everything would be alright.

in reality, he didn't know if it would. it seems like recently he didn't know anything. which terrified him since he's the adult. he's supposed to know all.

"what are you thinking about, my love?" sunoo questioned again. he wanted to be let in, he didn't like seeing his little girl upset, especially because her birthday was so soon. no one should be sad on the day they're born.

"nothing." she looked down at her neon pink cast. the black sharpy that read 'you're so brave, my little bear.' looking back at her.

sunoo knew what she was upset about. if he knew nothing else in this world, he knew one thing. he knew eunjoo. 

or at least he tried to.

❀

i love giving you guys pain😈