umbrella { sunjay }

43.

after knocking, jay stood still with a pink giftbag in his hand. he waited for a minute before jake opened the door with a questioning look on his face. 

"what was the emergency favor you needed?" jake folded his arms while lifting am eyebrow at the other male.

"i need you to give this to eunjoo for me." jay held up the bag towards jake. 

"why can't you do it?" he scrunched up his face in confusion. he didn't understand why the man was standing in front of him at eight p.m. with a pink bag instead of just doing it himself.

"sunoo didn't tell you?" jay was puzzled that sunoo wouldn't inform his own best friend of their situation. it seemed like something you would probably bring up to the people close to you. 

or maybe it wasn't as important to him? 

"no?" jake was questioning this guy's sanity.

"me and him kind of aren't talking right now." it sounded worse than what it actually was when he said it out loud...

"look, i don't know what's going on between you two. but if you went out of your way to get his daughter a gift, you should probably give it to her yourself. they left to suwon a few days ago and her birthday is tomorrow. so i'd advise you to hurry up and go on a road trip." jake gave a blank stare as he spoke bluntly.

he knew how much eunjoo loved jay. and he was also aware of jay and sunoo's complicated mess. so he refused to get in between their potential love story. 

if he didn't feel like things would work itself out, he would drive to suwon with no problem. but he knew jay had to be the one to do it.

"i can't-" jay began to spill out an excuse before jake cut him off and began to slowly close the door with a menacing smile. 

"good luck!" and the door slammed right before jay's face.

❀

for the entire day, eunjoo seemed more down than ever. tomorrow was her birthday but she didn't seemed relieved at all.

sunoo missed his energetic girl that raced around the house and asking thirty questions per minute. he could tell a raincloud followed over her head as they prepared for her birthday.

it was the end of the day and time for bed for the little girl. they were sleeping in his old room before they moved out to seoul. his parent's had never changed it so it still had all of eunjoo's baby items that they left behind.

sunoo opened the door and seen how eunjoo laid in his old bed, tracing the patterns on the sheet as she laid on her side. 

the man sat on on the bed, next to where she lay and watched her for a moment. she seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. she was extremely matured for an almost-five-year old. which wasn't always a good thing. 

sometimes sunoo wish she was clueless to the world around her, so that she wouldn't get hurt so easily.

"does mr. park not want to be my dad?" 

eunjoo didn't break her trance from the sheet as she asked her father. her words made his heart sink.

he didn't know this situation would actually affect her this much. and he felt so fucking guilty for everything.

"of course not, baby. it's not like that. he just-" sunoo tried to find the right words. her glassy eyes looked up at him, waiting. waiting for a better explanation. 

sunoo cleared his throat. he didn't have an answer. 

"let's get some sleep, okay?" he changed the subject, patting her head before standing up.

eunjoo just turned over to the other side, facing the wall. 

sunoo frowned and stood there for a moment, knowing that she was upset at him. she had never ignored him before and it stung. 

he sighed before walking towards the door and glancing back over to the girl who still showed her back. "i love you, eunjoo." he called out to her before leaving the door cracked and walking away.

he traveled down the hallway, finding himself in front of his parents room. he got flashbacks to when he used to stand in front of their room, waiting for them to let him in whenever he couldn't sleep. 

he would crawl in between them and eventually his sister would follow. the four of them all smushed together like sardines in one bed but it was some of the best moments of his childhood.

"mom? dad? are you awake?" he softly pushed their door open to find his mom on her phone and his dad reading a book.

"what's wrong, sun?" they both looked over to see their fully adult son standing at the end of their bed like a lost puppy. almost exactly how he used to stand in the same spot with the same look on his adorable face. 

they never had the heart to tell him that he couldn't sleep with them. no matter how squished they were.

he didn't answer, instead he crawled onto the bed and wiggled his way in between them. their laughter erupted as they watched him try to fit his adult body into bed with them. 

his father took off his reading glasses and set them down, along with his book, onto the bedside table. his mother following the action with her phone. 

the three got comfortable and waited for him to speak his mind. 

even when he was a teenager, whenever he had to say something that was bothering him, he crawled into their bed, disturbing their usual nighttime routines because he loved to talk.

"i feel like a bad father." he pouted, looking at the ceiling. his parent's gave each other a knowing glance as they faced each other with him in the middle. 

sunoo tended to get insecure at times, especially about how he was raising his child. which was normal. but he also forgot to give himself some pity. he was doing it all on his own after all.

"why do you say that, my love?" his mother put her hand onto his that rested on his chest.

"i think i made a mistake. and now eunjoo is mad at me." he sighed, it's hard to admit when you're wrong. but he began to feel like he was.

"i'm sure she's not. she's a very forgiving girl. she get's it from you." his father commented.

"no, i think she is." he shook his head, still staring at the white ceiling that he's known for his entire life. 

"i met someone. and i- we really liked him. and i guess that scared me..." when things get good, sunoo had a habit of self sabotaging. he felt like if he knew how things would end, he'd never get hurt. 

this is why he ruined things that he genuinely loved. because knowing how things ended brought him closure. 

the closure he felt he lacked in his life.

he ranted to his parents for the rest of the night, until he fell asleep. being with his parents brought him a comfort he didn't know he missed for so long.

❀

i'm guilty of self sabotaging🌚