umbrella { sunjay }

30.

song recommendation: i miss you, i'm sorry -gracie abrams 

"jongseong wait-" sena called out to jay after he threw her phone back onto it's place on the bed where he found it and walked out the door.

he ignored her and hurriedly put on his shoes and coat like it was a race against time. he neglected his gloves and scarf even though the snow swallowed the ground whole

"jongseong you don't understand!" sena raised her voice but it was too late, the front door slammed shut right in her face. she stumbled back and exhaled loudly, raising her hands up to tangle them within her black locks of hair.

jongseong practically ran out the house and to his car. he had only one place he wanted to be at the moment. he felt lost and betrayed, amongst other things.

it was as if his brain was on autopilot and his body was moving on it's own.

❀

the man had put his daughter to sleep only an hour ago and curled into the sofa with his favorite book. 

for some reason, he couldn't sleep. he tried, to no avail. so he decided that catching up on some reading could sooth his insomnia.

 as his eyes scanned the last sentence of the page, he heard a knock on his apartment door.

he checked the time to see it was eleven at night and he wasn't expecting anyone, especially so late in the day.

placing down his book, he stood up to open the front entrance. after he turned the doorhandle, his breath hitched.

he wasn't able to get a proper word out before he found himself enclosed into the tight embrace of park jongseong. 

when he opened the door, he seen tear streaks covering the face he hadn't seen in months. 

as jay held him close with his face between sunoo's collar bone and neck, small sobs could be heard by the younger. 

confusion pooling sunoo's mind, he slowly lifted his arms to wrap around jay as well. it would be am enormous lie on his part if he said he hadn't imagined this moment. to have jay back in his arms where he felt that he belonged.

except, he didn't picture the older to be in tears as he coated sunoo's skin with salty water. 

"oh hyung..." sunoo's nurturing tone was enough to warm jay up from his previous frozen state. snow still covered his winter coat and was cold to the touch, but sunoo wasn't worried about that fact at the moment.

"what happened? i don't understand." sunoo spoke again but still didn't break the contact. 

but the thing is, jay didn't understand either. he didn't understand anything. especially why the very first thing his brain traveled to, was sunoo.

eventually, jongseong's sobs came to an end and he slowly backed away from the hug, being sure to stand in the same close proximity as before. 

he still didn't spill his thoughts as his bloodshot eyes marked every inch of sunoo's profile. to his surprise, everything was the same. 

sunoo had the same glassy eyes that could steal your soul without you even knowing. his face still had the same marks of beauty. his lips still shined with their perfect shape. it was still his sunoo. 

"let's get you inside, okay?" a warm hand reached up to wipe away the stray tears that escaped jay's drained eyes. he practically melted into the touch as his eyelids rested shut.

sunoo smiled softly at the man. it was like a cat leaning into your touch, asking for more affection. 

to jay's disappointment, sunoo dropped his hand from his face. his eyes gradually opened from the loss of contact but he quickly felt sunoo's warm hold once again as he attached their hands in order to pull him fully into the home.

jongseong's puzzlement returned again as he watched the younger close the door with their hands still glued together. 

he didn't understand how he could accept him so easily after so long. how he could just open his arms to him once again. why did sunoo not close the door directly in his face once he recognized who stood in front of him. 

he knew he didn't deserve any of sunoo's kindness. he felt a guilt that was deep within. which he also had no comprehension of why he felt so guilty.

"do you want to take a warm shower? you must be cold." sunoo finally locked eyes with him and had a look of concern for the latter.

jay's heart ached for the second time tonight. 

"that would be nice, thank you." the very first thing he's said in person to sunoo in the past two months.

sunoo gave his precious smile once again and let go of the older's hand to walk into his bedroom to retrieve things jay may need.

after sunoo left, jay looked down at his palm and felt a chill of emptiness. 

"here you go. i'll make you some hot chocolate while you-" sunoo returned with the items and began to speak, only for jay to intrude into his sentence.

"why are you... you don't have to do all of this for me sunoo..." 

"i want to." sunoo's bright smile wasn't as bright as before but it was enough to melt every inch of snow away.

❀

once jay returned to the living room, sunoo sat with a warm blanket, a book in his hand, and two mugs on the coffee table. 

sunoo realized jay was standing there awkwardly and set down his book. he looked up to where the older stood and patted the cushion adjacent to where he sat.

"do you feel better?" sunoo asked quietly as the other got comfortable. he offered to share the plush throw blanket with the older so the breeze wouldn't nip at his skin. to which jay quickly accepted.

"a little." sunoo nodded to his response. he was grateful that he was even the slightest bit more comfortable.

"do you wanna talk about it? i'm still a little surprised to see you if i'm being honest." sunoo's statement hurt jay for some reason. the fact that sunoo didn't expect jay to visit him again had a little sting. 

"i'm sorry." 

sunoo's eyebrows furrowed at jongseong's reply. he wasn't expecting an apology. technically jay had done nothing wrong. 

"for what, hyung?"

jay hesitated, "there's no baby..." he swallowed down the lump that was in his throat as his voice cracked. "sena lied..."

"what?" sunoo tilted his head, unsure if his ears were deceiving him or if he heard what jay said correctly.

❀

it's jay's birthday🥳