umbrella { sunjay }

39.

song recommendation: breaking up slowly -lana del rey

the two adults sat in the emergency room waiting area. every two minutes, jay would squeeze sunoo's hand that he held in his own. reminding the younger to breathe and that he was there the entire time.

it wasn't long before a doctor returned, calling out the family of kim eunjoo. they were waiting for a few hours while eunjoo was in surgery, but it felt like years.

"i'm assuming you two are her parents?" the doctor quizzed as he scanned the two males. "yes, yes." sunoo rushed out, not worried about details he just wanted to know how his daughter was. "is she okay?" 

the doctor nodded assuring. "we were able to put her bone back into place. it was just a break, nothing to serious." he gave a smile.

jay and sunoo both let out a breath they seemed to be holding for ages. "thank you so much doctor. are we able to go see her?" 

"yes, however, she is still under anesthesia so she is still asleep. but she should be awake in no time. if you have any questions please let us know." the male doctor bowed to the grateful pair before walking away. 

not skipping a beat, sunoo and jay instantly began to walk towards the room that eunjoo was placed in. 

sunoo stared as he walked over towards the white bed. a pink cast contrasting with the plainness of the sheets. he was so anxious seeing his daughter fast asleep in such a setting. any parent would fear seeing their child in the hospital bed, no matter the situation.

"i'm so happy she's okay." jay brought over two seats so they could watch over the girl as she slept. it was a kind of relief that made you sigh, releasing the tensions inside your body.

"me too." sunoo spoke, not making eye contact, only pushing back the loose strands of hair from the girl's head. "thank you, hyung. i would be so lost if you weren't there to move so quickly."

jay didn't need to be thanked though. he would always be there to protect the little girl, if he could help it. she had slowly became his favorite parts of the day. being with the two of them made him feel beyond words could translate.

thirty minutes. the clock ticked every second, breaking through the silence. eunjoo finally opened her eyes and tears began to fill her big hazel eyes. she no longer felt pain, but seeing her dad and jay sitting by her bedside made the salty water brim her eyes.

"daddy!" she bursted into a sob as her father leaned over her bed, wrapping her small frame into his arms. he was so happy, but so sad that his daughter was in tears. he hated when she cried. it reminded him when they were both younger and her tears wouldn't stop. he hated that he couldn't prevent her from ever feeling the urge to cry.

"it's okay, dad is here." he backed away, wiping the water away from her flushed cheeks. 

"appa." she suddenly called out while staring at jongseong with a frown and unshed tears. 

jongseong's heart began to race as his eyes widened. he slowly looked towards sunoo who looked just as shocked as him. 

she called him, appa. she called jay, 'dad'.

 after swallowing his threatening tears, he moved forward to the end of his seat. "i'm here, little bear." he grabbed her tiny hand on her unbroken arm. never in a million years did he ever expect to hear that name directed towards himself.

sunoo never expected his daughter to call jongseong her father either. he knew they were forming a bond but he didn't know eunjoo felt so deeply towards jay. it had never crossed his mind that she accepted the male as her second parent.

and that scared the fuck out of him. 

it scared him that he had allowed her to get this attached to someone he wasn't even in a relationship with. sunoo was so lost on what to do. 

once the three returned to sunoo's flat after eunjoo's release, he felt beyond anxious. was he making a mistake by keeping jongseong around? was eunjoo becoming too attached to him? all these questions flew around in sunoo's head as he put his daughter to bed. 

it didn't take her a while to sleep, the pain killers that the doctor had prescribed made her fall asleep in seconds.

the older man stood in the hallway behind him as he shut his bedroom door. jongseong could feel a shift in sunoo's mood from the moment eunjoo called him appa. he seen the conflict going on in sunoo's eyes. he needed to know what the younger was thinking.

"what's wrong?" he cut straight to the chase. of course eunjoo calling him dad had taken them both by surprise, but jay knew it had to be more to it from the latter's behavior. 

sunoo puffed his cheeks in frustration, running a hand through his black hair. he didn't know if his thoughts were telling him the right things. but he knew one thing. he had a job to do. 

he had to protect eunjoo no matter what.

"hyung, i think we should take a break from seeing each other." 

he wasted no breath. although his heart was screaming, banging at his chest for him to take his words back, to apologize and say it was just a sick prank. 

his brain told him this was what needed to be done.

"a break? is it because of what eunjoo said?" jay furrowed his eyebrow, creating a crease between them. he didn't understand why they would suddenly need a break.

"yeah, it actually is. my priority is to make sure my daughter doesn't end up heart broken. we're not even in a relationship and she's already considering you as her other father. doesn't that sound concerning?" sunoo walked as he spoke. he didn't want to wake the girl from her slumber so he moved their conversation into the living room.

jongseong scoffed, "so you're upset because she called me her dad?" 

"yes! jay, you know how much i care about my child. this is one of the first things you knew about me. she's going to always be first. always. and right now, i feel like i'm not protecting her from future disappointment. so please... let's just stop seeing each other for a while..."

sunoo turned his head after his last sentence. he couldn't face the older, knowing he would end up breaking down into sobs. he began to question if his feeling for the older were transpiring into love. 

and he didn't have time for love.

❀

justice for jay🤕