umbrella { sunjay }

38.

the winter escaped. the cold air that chilled every part of seoul had slowly transitioned into slight breezes as spring arrived. the days were warm and flowers bloomed.

just as the seasons change, so does people. they change in the most predictable and unexpected ways possible.

they change in a pattern but with no rhythm all at once.

over the last few months, jake decided to stay in seoul for good.

jongseong and sena's divorced finalized with little conflict.

jay decided to hand over the house to sena since he had originally bought the property for her. even if it wasn't, he didn't believe he could continue to live in a space that reminded him of everything from before. 

he didn't believe he could move on with his life while continuing to live in that house.

his new temporary apartment was closer to his job, shortening his commute to the university of seoul. 

it was also closer to sunoo. 

things between them felt at a standstill. neither of them knew what to say, while having all too much to tell.

it wasn't like they never seen each other, no. quite the opposite. in fact, jay visited the two almost every day if he could help it.

so much time had been spent together that sunoo knew eunjoo had become fully attached to the male. he questioned if this was the right thing. the raven wasn't sure if allowing his daughter to be around someone every day without knowing how things would end, was a responsible choice.

summer was approaching and so was eunjoo's fifth birthday. along with eunji's fifth anniversary since her death.

during this time of the year, sunoo always began to think about the girl he used to know. the one who shared the same features as the most important person in his life.

it was hard not to. 

"what do you think eunjoo wants to do for her birthday?" jay commented casually as the two of them sat on the red park bench, watching eunjoo come down the slide with the most carefree glee written all over her face.

"she's been talking about rollercoaster's a lot. i figured we could go to the amusement park." sunoo clapped and cheered as eunjoo ran up to the two excitedly after a successful slide, landing perfectly on her feet.

"did you see me?! i went all by myself!" she jumped up and down with her dimples protruding from both cheeks, as deep as ever.

"we did see you! we were watching the whole time! you're so cool, bear." jay picked her up, and pretended to bite the girl's cheek, resulting in her throwing a laughing fit.

sunoo just watched in pure bliss. although things were complicated between the adults and things weren't properly said, sunoo knew jay had began to love his child and his child began to love him back the same.

"ah!" the girl squealed as she was being tickled to death "okay, okay, don't kill my baby, hyung." sunoo scolded the older humorously as jay gently set the girl down so she could run off again and do whatever her heart desired. 

after eunjoo was out of earshot, sunoo spoke again.

"we're going to leave in four days to suwon and visit her mom, since joo's birthday is in a week." his eyes met jay's focused gaze. it wasn't like jongseong was unaware of the tradition, but something in him felt a little sad at the thought of not being able to be there for eunjoo's birthday. 

"i see..." it was time's like this that reminded him that he was an outsider. that he wasn't actually apart of their family, no matter how much he wished to be. he and sunoo never formally talked about their relationship. 

it was never a discussion that sunoo wanted to dig into. every time jongseong tried to bring it up, the subject would be disregarded. 

but the truth was, sunoo wanted to be with jongseong just as much as the latter. he wanted to wake up to his two favorite people on the planet. he wanted to live happily ever after. 

the thing was, he was scared. he was scared to get too close.

it had just been him and eunjoo for so long that he forgot that other people had the possibility to enter his life.

suddenly, the two heard a scream.

they instantly recognized the voice and were onto their feet instantaneously, their hearts began to pound as they ran.

with every step, the sound of thumping deafened sunoo. he couldn't hear his own thoughts.

after locating where the scream was from, his movement froze as he stared with blown eyes. eunjoo was laying on the ground with her arm in a weird position.

sunoo had no time to think before his glassy eyes watched jay scoop the girl up urgently. jongseong's face was alarmed as he held the weeping girl in his arms. 

"come on sunoo, let's go." jay didn't have time to process eunjoo breaking her arm, he just knew he had to go into action. the adrenalin filled his veins and he felt his body was on autopilot as soon as he heard the girl's wail in pain.

sunoo also felt his body was taken over as he quickly followed jay to his car. he was still in shock, but he knew he needed to snap out of it. his daughter's tears were enough to break him from his trance.

"it's okay, flower. just breathe." he tried to sooth the tearful girl as he sat in the back seat, holding her close to him. 

surprisingly, he felt unusually calm. his eyes stared at jay who pressed on the gas petal, unbothered by any type of speed limit that had been enforced on the road. 

perhaps this is the feeling his mother felt whenever they had gotten hurt growing up. she always had a calm aura during the most scariest time. maybe it was due to the fact that she knew everything would be fine. maybe she was just naturally calm.

but for him, it was because he knew he and eunjoo were in good hands. he knew they would be taken care of. 

he knew they had park jongseong.

❀

i smell commitment issues