Chapter 11

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My eyes seemed to open on their own accord and for the first time in the last three to four days I felt somewhat comfortable. My vision was lazily focused on a very worried Spencer. His hair was sticking up in every direction known to man, his facial hair was unshaved and I felt a small smile pull at my lips. I always liked it when he didn't shave but he always thought it came on as unprofessional so I had to wait for him to get stressed out for him to forget. He had dark bags under his light brown eyes and I felt my arm reach out towards him only to be stopped by a thin tube attached to my wrist.

"What the?" The words came out slurred and it took me a few seconds to realize what I said. Spencer had already been looking at me when I woke up. He gently pushed my hand back on the bed and tried to move his chair that was already flush with the bad frame closer.

"Don't pull on that." He said the words so quietly that not even the dead would hear. This time I attempted to sit up but he pressed me back down. "You're body is under enough stress, you don't need to add to it." As he said that I looked around the room. It was completely dark other then the light that came from underneath a door but I could still somewhat see. Spencer and I were the only ones in the room. He was still wearing the same shirt that I had gotten blood all over from the cabin. The cabin, The baby! I felt myself begin to push back up despite Spencer's hold on me.

"I'm-" Even though anxiety ate at my entire being, I couldn't bring myself to tell him. What if I wasn't anymore? Would he be upset if I was or was not? Nothing made sense in my mind, everything seemed to be hazy and fuzzy around the edges. Spencer shocked me with what he said next.

"You're still pregnant." My entire body froze, his words cut through the fog like a whip. He knew, how did he know. Did a doctor tell him, I'm in the hospital right? Doctors aren't supposed to release that kind of information, not even if was a minor.

"I am?" out of all the jumbled thoughts that were going off in my head those were the two words that fought their was out.

"No one knows how. You lost a tone of blood and you were dehydrated." He himself seemed puzzled but his confused expression quickly turned to a hurt one. The kind of face you could find on a kicked puppy.

"Why didn't you tell me?" This I wasn't sure how to answer. Why didn't I tell him when I found out? Maybe it was the illusion that maybe it wasn't real, that's might have been a good reason but I knew for sure right before we moved across the country. I could say that I was afraid of losing him. That was the truth, or at least part of it. "How long have you known?"

"I found out the day your job here was confirmed." I took a deep breath and laid back down ignoring the pan in my shoulder. "You came home and you were so happy." Spencer's face still held that confused kicked puppy look and I continued. "I was going to tell you then, I had a whole speech planed out, hell I wrote it down but you were so excited about getting this job. You were so happy and I wasn't sure that this would make you happy." A shuttering breath escaped my lips and I wanted to look away from him but I couldn't. He took a long time to reply and each tick on the clock sounded like a small explosion in my head.

"I'm...I'm not upset." That took a little pressure off my shoulders but not much.

"But you're not happy either..."

"Addison, you were almost killed! I don't know how I feel about anything other then the fact that you right here, right now." It's everyday that Spencer gets angry, it's only happened one other time in the four years we've been together. Even now he seemed to be more stressed out then angry. "I didn't even go to the police until after he answered the phone. I would have known you were gone so much sooner if I had been home."

"Spence, this isn't your fault, Rodney would have gotten to me no matter what. If its anyone's fault it's mine. I should have looked through the peep hole before opened the door. If I had given myself that little heads up he never would have caught me off-guard like that and this might have never even
happened." He didn't seem to like me blaming myself.

"You knew him?" This seemed to surprise him more then me being pregnant.

"Knew?" The question rolled out before I could stop it. Even though Rodney had taken a deep dive into crazy vile he had been considered family at one point and the thought of him kicking the bucket didn't sit well with me.

"He attempted to shoot a police officer."

"So...he's dead?" I didn't mean to sound so heartbroken but I couldn't help myself. Spencer didn't seem to understand my reaction.
"Yes." It took everything in me not to start crying. I kept reminding myself that he tried to kill me. He was going to kill me in front of my brothers and father because he couldn't handle his son being dead. But I had looked up to him at one point. How can someone just turn on someone they had considered family. I'm not sure how long it took Spencer to calm me down but he did.

"Addi..." He ended up having to crawl into the bed next to me. He was very careful of my shoulder but I didn't really care at that moment. He didn't question my breakdown, he knew that I would tell him if I wanted and I wouldn't if I didn't. He knew pressing issues with me was a bad idea and it would get him nowhere but the couch.

"He used to be one of my dad's friends." I said after we sat in silence for a few moments. Spencer didn't say anything but I knew he was listening. I hadn't told him very much about my father or my brothers. How do you tell someone who relies solely on facts and statistics that every big bad monster exists? You don't.

"My dad used to drop my brothers and I off at his house for weeks, sometimes months at a time." I felt my fingers tighten around his shirt and my face pushed farther into his shoulder. "My dad, he told my dad where I was." A different kind of fear welled up in my chest. "They know where I'm at. Spencer, I am so dead." Again he didn't say anything. We sat there for a little longer before the door opened Light from the hall shined so bright I had to close my blink my eyes so they could adjust.

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