"Why do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Talk down on yourself. Every time you get frustrated with yourself you resort to talking bad about yourself."
"Those are just the words I use." I mumbled irritated at the conversation. I didn't sign up to be judged...
For two weeks Tyrie has been ignoring me. At first I thought it was because of our fight. I was so wrong. Now that I think about it, that whole argument was stupid now. He didn't have the right to just outright ignore me like I wasn't a person.
Last week I walked myself to school once again because he wouldn't pick me up or drop me off.
When I got to school Tyrie had his arms around some random girl in our grade. I had to admit she was really cute. Like seemed like a sweet girl next door type of cute. I was jealous as fuck.
He didn't even notice me because he was too focused on stuffing his tongue down her nasty ass throat. First he doesn't talk to me for two weeks, then he got a bitch on his arm that I have never heard of. Why is he cuddling and touching on me just to be talking to some girl a couple weeks after? That shit ain't cool. Guess I know who my real friends are.
I was feeling depressed and lonely for a few days. I was this close to curling myself in a ball and sleeping for the whole weekend. The only reason I didn't was because my mom kept busting in my room like the police and telling me to do random work around the house. I couldn't even have any time to myself to process my thoughts and emotions. I cried myself to sleep that night because I was lonely and I had realized something important.
I had a crush on my best friend.
I call it a crush because it's crushing my heart knowing that I have feelings for someone that will never feel same. All of this was just happening too fast. We haven't known each other long at all but somehow my feelings are stronger than I've ever felt.
Why it took me so long to realize, I don't even know. I thought about how he made me feel when he hugged me. How a simple text from him made me smile. His jokes made me laugh the hardest. Now he has someone else there for him to do that with.
This was before though. Before I remembered who the fuck I was, and who the fuck he was. Despite everything that happened, the time I spent with Jones helped me. It taught me to care for myself more. I don't completely love myself or my body image yet, but I'm working towards that.
Today I'll forget about him and his girlfriend. This is about me. I can't keep depending on others to make me feel good about myself.
This Monday was the day I ditched the t-shirt and jeans for a cuve hugging dress. The dress was bodycon and grey. It hugged my ass and thighs the right way. My stomach didn't look too big in it, so I was happy. I paired it with my favorite black leather jacket. I let my curls air dry air after conditioning. Damn, I look sexy as fuck.
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I'm ready to take on the world today. Nobody can touch me. I'm gonna walk in there like a boss bitch.
***** I'm not a boss bitch.
When I saw Ty and his new girl I wanted to cry. They were laughing at something together. He had a huge goofy smile on his face. This bitch must be Kevin Hart Jr.
