Chapter 38

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"Here's my phone number."

Seated on a familiar café, Yoongi insisted that I looked like I needed to eat something the moment I professed how much I missed him. He said he knew little about me; but he had this feeling that what he currently knew was just brief and he had the urge to talk to me and apologize for pushing me away.

Typing his number on the keypad, I felt nostalgic. It seemed like yesterday that I placed him under a hilarious contact name. Smiling a little, I placed "Yoongi" instead to avoid any retaliation and feeling of uncertainty radiating off him.

"Why did you bring me to this very café out of all the cafés?" I asked, particularly curious of what he was about to answer

He eyed the exterior of the café, seated at the same chair he sat on back then. He popped his lower lip out, thinking deeply with furrowed eyebrows while looking at the place.

"I don't know. I just had the urge." he said, taking his drink in his hand and sipping a little amount

"Hm. You brought me here before for lunch." I said slowly with a small smile

He blinked at me, setting down his drink before looking at the place again. Feeling the thickness of the air occupying my lungs and the awkward silence ringing in my ears loudly, I instantly regretted the words that came out of my mouth.

"I see. Were we best of friends before? Have I always taken you out to eat? Did we hang a lot?" he questioned

My lips were pursed with my eyes twinkling in awe. I instantly thought of the early years when I lost my memories and my heart could not help but mourn for what Yoongi must have felt the moment he could not remember anything because the pain I've been through was unimaginable.

His eyes were glistening with the desire of denouement to all that is bugging the back of his mind. He wanted answers; answers that should be given slowly because all that happened was just too much to take in.

"Hmm, you could say that." I said, smiling to ease the tension

Yoongi noticed the tone of my voice as he leant back on the back of his chair while pouting subtly.

"You're lying." he said with sureness in his voice as he gave me a dark stare

"I'm not. We were indeed best friends before." I stated again with a smile

Yoongi's eyes slowly softened as he sighed. He looked down a little bit before proceeding to partake on his meal. I stared as he lazily placed food in his mouth and chewed on it slowly before swallowing to speak again.

"Well, I know you won't tell me anyway. The others won't tell me too."  he said

My heart dropped, instantly losing my appetite while my emotions bubbled up once more. I bit on my lip as I sighed inaudibly.

"The others?" I asked to keep the conversation going and stir it to somewhere else— hopefully

He placed his utensils down, looking up from his food.

"I tried talking to Namjoon about it but he won't say anything." he said

My throat felt dry as I gulped. The effects of amnesia that I had experienced before were now experienced by Yoongi and I wanted nothing but be there by his side; but hearing Namjoon's name roll off his tongue after a long time sent shivers down my spine as I was reminded of what was to happen. By then, I was given time to ponder on my mother's words earlier that day as I felt Yoongi's gaze grow intense as seconds ticked by.

Involuntarily, I reciprocated the way he stared at me. I was slightly surprised that Yoongi did not avoid my gaze but proceeded to cock his head to the side slightly while furrowing his eyebrows a little. His bottom lip was puckered as he sighed once more afterwards. I grew aware of the fact that the thoughts in his head must be non-stop and it pained me to watch him suffer under their buzzing.

"You know, I'm going to be honest." he started out of the blue making me cut off my train of thought

I blinked twice, looking at him pause for a moment and formulate his message.

"I want to get to know you more; but it feels like I shouldn't."

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