His Temporary Wife ( A Muslim Love Story )

Chapter 23 - Apologies

A gasp left my mouth as I looked at her patchy scalp .. some patches of her scalp were bald while some had a few hair. It looked like grey and black territories on her scalp and I could tell which territory she was finding hard to let go.

"Doctors stress on getting the remaining hairs shaved but I can't Anaya." She looked into my eyes helplessly.
"I can't just shave the only remnants of a normal life that I once had and go bald. I simply can't , I .. I feel like the remaining hair indicate the remaining life I have, and the time I go bald will be the very last breath I'll be taking and I .. I don't want to die Anaya .. I don't want to. Because dying sucks , trust me it feels bizarre that every breath you take is costly. It costs you your life." She pauses.

"Zaaf I .. " I think of words to speak.

" No please , let me speak because I feel so light doing this. I can't explain this to Asher and Ujala, the only ones who know about my disease because I know the amount of sadness and worry their hearts would feel. I want to speak." She begged.

"Sure." - I reply firmly.

"You know it's certainly the kind of helplessness a homeless poor person feel when he spend from the little money he has got to buy food. Every single penny feels heavy as the already little money gets even lesser and lesser but he has to spend it anyway to live the days he can go by with that money. Breathing for a dying person feels the same except for the fact that the homeless person can actually get a few extra pennies by begging on streets but a dying person .. they can't even beg for a few extra breaths .. every breath brings you closer to your death .. every breath feels heavy and I almost feel childish when thoughts such as ' if I hold my breath for a few seconds or start breathing less, I might be able to delay dying' cross my mind." she laughed helplessly on herself.

" I had no idea that Asher and you were .. " I was about to complete my sentence when Zaaf cut me of again.

"You wanted to know my relationship with Asher, right?" she asks.

" No I .. " - I stutter.

" I was 13 and Ujala was 15 when our parents died. Father was murdered and mum died of antidepressants and sleeping pills overdose, she couldn't handle the pain. She knew she would die eventually so she made a few things clear to her sister i.e Asher's mum about our life after her. She kind of hinted her about how she would want her daughters to live if something happens to her and as she expected of herself, she died, kind of a suicide if you ask me." Zaaf eyed me seriously.

I felt so horrible knowing this.

" Khala , I call Asher's mum khala, tried her best to adopt both I and Ujala but my aunt from my father's side won Ujala's custody as she didn't had any child of her own.
I was devastated but khala assured me that one day she will bring Ujala home and unite us. My aunt hated khala so she would always stop Ujala from meeting us and would advise her to stay as far as possible from us but Ujala's love for us could not allow her to distance us and so my aunts husband, who loved Ujala like his own daughter would some how arrange her meetings with us which made my aunt very furious. As days passed by she started hating Ujala as well because she thought Ujala was my khala's spy at her place. She began feeling that Ujala was stealing her husband's attention and love from her. She started accusing Ujala of things she didn't do and would punish her for crimes she never committed, by the way her punishments included nonstop beatings." She declared.

My heart seemed to stop by hearing about Ujala's horrible past. It is hard to believe that such a positive woman had such a dark past.

"Grandpaa was fighting hard to get Ujala's custody but everything was failing .. It was like Ujala was suffering in a prison, but where as I had all the love of the world from Khala and grandpaa. One day my Aunt's husband died and my aunt, being the typical woman she was, accused Ujala's bad luck which according to her surrounded the entire house. She threw Ujala outside at the middle of the night, Ujala was just 17 years old that time. Khala quickly brought Ujala home. To be honest it was like the happiest day of my life because I was finally able to unite with my sister." I could see happy tears in Zaaf's eye.