Having gained 6 more hours away from the prison later that week, Lily wondered back to her bunk. She was easily the most popular girl of Litchfield, every Lesbian lusted after her and every straight girl wanted to be her. So it was no surprise that people stared at her teary eyes. Lily flopped onto her bed, she shared a cube with Big Boo, Alex and Soso. Brooke was somewhere with Poussey, Boo and Alex watched Lily enter with concern written all over their faces.
"Hello stranger" Alex said, thankful to see her best friend after a long day down in the Laundry room, Lily didn't reply to her. Alex had been trying her best to keep Lily happy. She was worried for her, worried that she could be depressed again, maybe even dangerously. As Lily lay on her back staring at the ceiling she felt herself slipping to the dark side of herself. Lily had a history with depression, it had been lethal in her teens, and she feared this time would be worse. Lily was unusually good at hiding her depression, she would even smile to conceal her true feelings. This made her dangerous to herself as nobody suspected anything. The tall brunette stood up so she was level with Lily's top bunk "What? What's happened?" Lily rolled onto her side and said quietly,
"Nicky is fucking someone else"To Lily, Alex was the only one that she could share her emotions with, this used to be Nicky's role but not anymore. Alex couldn't believe what she had heard, she covered her mouth with her hand for a few seconds, before climbing up the bunk and lying down next to her best friend. She hugged Lily tightly as she shook her head in disbelief,
"that's fucked up, she didn't deserve you," Lily felt her eyes welling up again as she stayed silent ", Lily, she wouldn't do this to you In her right mind, you know she's not in her right mind" Lily nodded knowing that Alex was right although she couldn't move past it, not yet. She was still too emotionally attached to Nicky.
That afternoon, once her tears had dried a little, Lily was sat in her cube. Nicky entered looking worse for wear. She didn't think anyone knew about her cheating. She sat on the end of the bed,
"I'm sorry for what I said," She avoided eye contact, clearly not meaning what she was saying. After a pause she added | "I'm just feeling hormonal," Lily then looked her in the eye and said,
"I know that you cheated." There was a long silence as Nicky realised her chances of being forgiven were slim to none.
"What do ya want me to say, I'm an addict- but I do love you, Lil. Don't you love me?"
Lily got up and pointed at Nicky's chest saying,
"I don't love this Nicky." Nicky looked sad, before saying,
"What do you want me to do?" Then Lily said softly,
"Stop the drugs Nicky."
Nicky looked desperately into Lily's eyes before shaking her head and looking down. Lily continued,
"Then I can't do this, it hurts me too much Nick." "Come on! You're a nice girl give me a chance?" Then Lily turned around and said "I can't be nice right now."
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Nicky watched the girl she loved walk away in defeat. She saw no reason to sober up, heroin could be her new soulmate instead.
