The next few weeks passed by Lily in a blur of pills, and a whole lot of "Lily, I'm worried about you". The medication was making it harder for Lily to care about much, everything just seemed easy breezy. It made the depression easier to handle but turned her into a distorted version of herself. Lily became distanced from her prison family, they missed her but also understood that Lily would come around in time, they knew that the medication was helping her feel happier. Meanwhile Lily had taken more of Maritza's shifts to be with Noah, they occasionally slept together but most of the time he acted as her safety blanket, someone to distract her from Litchfield. Lily was also aware that Nicky was going through withdrawal, this was obviously good news but it didn't change that she broke Lily's heart. Nicky would sometimes approach her, apologising and saying she wants her back, but Lily blocked this out.
One day in a conversation she started to feel bad, she said to Noah,
"Noah what if I'm hurting people? I fucked you just like Nicky fucked those girls" Then Noah reassured her
"Lily, your a good person, anyone can see that, and you didn't cheat, "
That day, Lily stopped taking her medication. The next few days were horrible, she spent most of them in cold sweats, she couldn't sleep or eat but she knew the detox was the right thing to do. It was her own fault for overusing them.
Soon enough Lily was back to her old self again, it hit her all at once how carefree she had been, it wasn't like her at all, she realised she had to stop running from the pain, and once it caught up with her, it hurt. Red, Alex, Piper, Boo and Lorna all welcomed her home with smiles and as she re-joined the group's lunch spot,
"So how have you all been?" Lily softly asked as she gazed lovingly at her friends, the girls chatted about Lorna's new relationship with Vince Muccio, Red's feuds and Alex and Piper's relationship problems. Then, Lorna brought up Nicky, she told her that Nicky was "working on something down in electrical," and that she "hadn't been herself for weeks since her withdrawal." The group became tense, unsure of whether Lily was comfortable talking about Nicky or not. They relaxed as Lily replied calmly,
"What do you mean-not herself?" Then Red chipped in,
"She's moping around, not sleeping, she doesn't want sex anymore" Lily was surprised by this, in the whole four years she had known Nicky, she had never lost her sex drive, so it must be serious. Maybe Nicky really had changed. Boo said,
"See I told you it would take your breakup to get her sober."
As the group dispersed at the end of lunch, Red stayed with Alex, she sighed and said
"I hope they get back together, they're hopeless without each other," Alex nodded, her eyebrows raised, she hummed,
"Agreed."
