Nicky Nichols fanfiction

Part 24

Lily stepped into the bustling cafeteria the next day, praying that she would see any of her friends separate to Nicky, else she guessed it would be another commissary dinner. Much to her disappointment she saw Red, Piper, boo, Lorna, Nicky and Alex all sat at the far corner table. Red glanced over to her with a sad look in her eyes, missing her, she smiled and gestured to the empty seat next to her but Lily couldn't, she still couldn't be around Nicky it would be too weird. The rest of the girls were now staring too. Lily turned around and restacked her tray, walking briskly out of the room. The isolation was getting to her, she wandered over to commissary as thoughts of Nicky flooded her mind, "why am I still in love with her? What's wrong with me?"

That night, she glanced to the clock, it was 3am. It had been really hard for Lily to sleep since she stopped taking antidepressant. The self-destructive thoughts returned at night time. Lily quietly snuck out of bed and wandered down the ghost town corridor towards the bathroom, she would cry if the tears weren't already gone. The truth was, she missed Nicky. She was conflicted between giving Nicky another chance, which would run the risk of her heart breaking again, or trying to move on for good, and protect herself; Lily had always been a risk-taker. She opened the shower stall and moved her frame to sit in the corner, her knees pushed up to her chest. She was sat this way for at least ten minutes, her thoughts running wild until she heard ruffling from the shower curtain, followed by a husky voice.

"Lil?" The nickname touched a sensitive part of Lily's heart. There stood Nicky, that familiar face that she was so irrevocably in love with. "How you holding up kid?" Her eyes sunken and upset, wet with tears. Lily hadn't realised how much this all had affected Nicky, she hadn't seen her. She was visibly tearing herself up inside. There was a moment where the pair gazed at each other longingly before Lily patted the space next to her on the shower floor. She obliged and sunk down next to Lily. Nicky's eyes filled up with tears, knowing that her actions had damaged Lily, a lot.

Lily replied "below average I suppose" as Nicky smiled at her "but I'm happy you're sober"

Lily was of course referencing to Nicky's heroin relapse that split them up in the first place. Nicky shook her head looking concerned "Happy? Come on baby – I know you- you're far from it- but I mean -thank god you're sober now too." Lily had stopped taking antidepressant, she hadn't realised how much it changed her into a zombie until it was too late and she was reliant. "Lily, you can't do that again." Lily stayed quiet and rested her head on Nicky's shoulder,

"I think we are pretty hopeless without each other" A rush of happiness rolled through Nicky as she gained Lily's attention that she had been craving. Nicky gently stroked her soft hair. She had apologised a million times to Lily since everything went down and she knew she now just had to wait for Lily. Finally the waiting could possibly be over. Nicky thought briefly about Lily's warmth and the sense of love she felt around her, then she whispered a faint "Lil, I still love you"

Lily's head turned quickly to stare at Nicky, was she serious? Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion and disbelief, she said quietly "No you don't" Lily was still convinced that the cheating and the lying meant Nicky didn't love her. She shook her head lightly,

"Lily, of course I do, I am so in love with you it's insane, I mean I've tried to be with other girls to get you off my mind but its fucking impossible," Nicky was getting carried away finally releasing what she had been wanting to say for weeks, "Lily, its driving me crazy not being with you, you are all I want, I'm so sorry" Lily stopped Nicky by kissing her suddenly, she pulled away briefly but a magnetic pull brought the soulmates back together. All of a sudden Lily realised how much she had missed Nicky's lips, she felt as if she were floating as Nicky placed her onto her lap. Nicky could feel Lily smiling against her lips. As Lily pulled away she whispered "I love you too, so much, I'm sorry too," The two were absolutely made for each other, anyone could see that.

For the next few weeks, the couple made up for all the lost time. Being with Lily again after such a long time made Nicky feel as though she was in heaven. They had forgotten just how good they were together, (when they were both sober). By now their love story was complicated, but straight out of a movie. After everything, their love was now stronger than ever, they both understood how much they relied on each other. Nicky had returned to the way she was before the drugs, and Lily was happy as ever. Again,
they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Sex was once again, their drug of choice.