Not much changed in the next month. Lily spent most of her time with Bonnie, Daddy flirted with her every day and Denzel treated her like shit all the time. It seemed that Denzel used Lily a target, he overlooked other inmates and watched Lily like a hawk. Denzel would establish his power by putting his cigarettes out on inmates' arms, he did this to Lily as well.
This made it difficult for her, but she stayed out of trouble. It was getting harder without Nicky, she felt a whole in her heart that Nicky used to fill.
It was Lily's 30th night in MAX, when all other inmates were asleep, Denzel was on duty. She was abruptly awoken to the feeling of a strong hand clamped over her mouth. She began to try and scream but the grip just got tighter, not a sound could be heard. Through the dim light she made out the facial features of C.O Denzel, once she stopped trying to yell, he hissed at her,
"If you make a sound, you are dead, but not before everyone you love. Nicky Nichols, your mother, your father, and your precious little bling ring."
Lily trembled. She nodded beneath his grip, promising to stay quiet. As he slowly moved his hand away, she whispered
"You can't hurt them."
To that he replied, "45 Maple Crane Street," It was her family home, her lip quivered knowing he could hurt them if he wanted to. He aggressively shoved his lips onto hers forcefully. This was Lily's worst nightmare, she felt her eyes tear up and her body begin to tremble. She looked around to try and find her bunkee but she was nowhere to be seen, she was all alone. Denzel's strong hand returned to her mouth, clamping down painfully on her jaw. Lily froze up and went numb. Her eyes looked into the distance as the C.O shoved his other hand into her underwear. Without warning his fingers punctured her delicate place, the feeling felt alien and disgusting. Her mind went dead, she felt him enter her, the pain becoming sickening. He hissed close to her ear,
"You were fucking asking for this. Walking around looking like that," Lily stayed quiet, she was too weak from lack of sleep to fight. It was over quickly, like he was a teenage boy. He pulled out of her and zipped up his pants, then he tightly placed his hands around her neck until she could hardly breathe.
"Remember, if you fucking tell anyone, you are dead. Who would believe you anyway? It's the criminal's word against head C.O."
Lily was left gasping for air. She sobbed into her pillow as she curled up into a ball, bringing her knees to her chest. She got no sleep that night.
The next morning, Lily walked around like a zombie, she felt dead inside. She didn't know anyone well enough for them to notice. Bonnie was working mostly, and by the time she saw her, Lily had perfected her act. She told her she was just "tired" and Bonnie believed her, Lily was a good actress. She had bruises on her body too, everywhere, but her clothes hid them.
She could hardly breathe without Denzel watching her, everywhere she went. Inside she had never felt so destroyed, so alone. She was embarrassed that she was so weak, that he had this power over her, but she still believed she had no choice.
It wasn't too hard for Lily, she only had to keep up the act for Bonnie, everyone else thought she was just depressed, perhaps she was. Lily tried her best to stay positive though, she kept telling herself that it would never happen again.
The next week, when everyone was asleep, to Lily's horror the exact same thing happened again. For the second time, she was left trembling in pain in the dead of the night, only to wake up with more bruises and cuts.
Bonnie was transferred to a different block, that day, so Lily would no longer have her to rely on, she was totally alone.
