48. It's...complicated

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"How did you do it?"

"What was she like?"

"Was it just like you predicted?"

"Why the hell did it take you so long to answer?"

This last question is thrown at me by a very upset looking Kalen, gray eyes boring holes into mine. When I finally got back, I was bombarded with questions, both Mara and Asher wanting to know how I did on the mission, and Kalen wanting to know why I didn't answer the first few times they called.

"I already told you, I didn't hear my TekPad. I had it on vibrate."

My answer only seems to make him madder, as he turns around and stomps off into his room, slamming the door shut behind him.

I turn to Mara incredulously.

"What's his problem?"

Mara is staring after Kalen, a sad look on her face, and she turns to me with an apologetic smile.

"You know how he gets. He didn't have a great day and then you weren't answering and we didn't know if you were okay or not... he was really worried Bri, probably the most worried out of all of us."

I try not to think too hard about the implications of that, instead focusing on the first part of her sentence.

"Why didn't he have a good day? Did he have trouble on his mission?" Is that why he's back early?

Asher, who had been sipping some water and observing up until now, jumps into the conversation.

"You could say that," he mumbles, swatting his copper curls away from his forehead, putting the glass on the table and standing across from me.

"Both Cassie and Xavier were accepted, but Kalen...." he gives me a pointed look.

Oh, now I understand.

I look in the direction that Kalen disappeared to, feeling my good mood from earlier evaporate like smoke. He didn't even have a chance at his part in the mission. It's the first important one he's been on in months, he trained so hard, I watched him leave his blood, sweat, and tears during classes just to prove his worth. And now he must feel like all that work was for nothing.

I look at Mara, and she shrugs. I suppose it was bound to happen, that something would go wrong eventually, not everything could go according to plan. But it's still a harsh reminder that we can't control every possible outcome.

"I'll go check on him," I say, getting off from the stool and heading towards the room Kalen would have shared with Xavier if he were here. It looks like Kalen will have the room all to himself now.

I pause outside his door, debating whether I should go in or not.

"Come on Bri, Kalen needs you. He's been there for you, now it's your turn to be there for him."

I take a deep breath and clench my hands at my sides. I knock twice before pushing the door open. Kalen is sitting with his back to the door, so I can't see his face when I come in, but his shoulders stiffen when I call his name, and it looks like he's barely breathing when I sit on the bed next to him.

"What do you want," he mumbles, nothing like the usual snarky Kalen that I'm used to.

I much prefer sarcastic or arrogant Kalen to defeated and sad Kalen. I place my hand on his shoulder and tug, inviting him to turn around. He follows my guidance and faces me, but keeps staring at the ground, as if he can't quite meet my eyes.

"I don't want anything, do you?"

I ask, keeping my voice calm and reassuring. If he wants to talk, I will be there for him, and if he doesn't then I will support him in silence.

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