Big girls don't cry (Aleida series #1)

5. Waiting for an angel

Miliano's POV

Every day for the last two weeks, I've been sitting there by her side, waiting and hoping for her to wake up. Even though I know her injuries are way too severe for it to be an opportunity to wake her up, I can't do anything but wish she'll heal faster; I want to get to know my mate.

I need her by my side, and every day when I sit in my office, it hurts my heart to be away from her; I've never felt anything like this before. My wolf grunts at me all the time and whines a lot; he wants us to be with her all the time, even though he knows deep down that it's not a possibility we have right now.

We have decided not to notify the other pack members that they have finally received a luna for safety reasons. We don't know how her old pack can react if they find out she's with us; it's not that we are afraid, absolutely not! We are one of the most massive packs in the whole country.

However, since we don't know why my fantastic mate was humiliated and injured in the way she was, we can't ignore the dangerous situation she's in. Mainly because she can't defend herself as it is now; she's kind of sedated twenty-four hours a day.

What annoys me the most is the uncertainty, the feeling of not being able to protect her because I don't know what happened in her past. She might as well be a prostitute, and I couldn't care less; she is my mate, and I will do everything to keep her happy.

I don't know much right now, but what I do know is that she's my other half. She has my heart in her hand without knowing it. The question is only; whether she will stomp on it once she wakes up or whether she will receive me with open arms. Now that I have finally found her, I will never be able to let her go.

The only thing that can possibly come between us is if I die, but the chances are excellent that I will wait for her and continue to love her even in the next world. Oh, moon goddess... I'm in real trouble! I haven't even talked to her yet, and I'm already acting like a love-sick puppy.

Before she came into my life, I was an almost cruel alpha. I demanded respect from the members of mine and also from the other packs. If I didn't get it, it was an opportunity for me to punish or, in the worst-case scenario, eliminate those who stood in my way.

Since our pack is the largest in our region, you can classify me as a king. But being king also has its problems and demands that I haven't been able to fulfill. I've tried again and again, but I always come back empty-handed. It wasn't until I met her that I realized she was the solution to all my problems.

Everything will be fine, as long as I have my queen by my side. She can give me an heir who, in due course, will be able to take over the empire that I devoted my whole life to build up from scratch. I take her hand in mine and whisper lovingly to her;

"You need to heal and wake up, baby girl. We need you to lead our pack with me, fuck that, I need you! I will wait for you, baby, I promise."

Aleida's POV

I don't know what happened. As much as I try to remember, my memory remains bare. I've been in this void for a long time now. I slip in and out of consciousness all the time. Even when I'm awake, I'm still not awake. I can hear words around me, but I can't understand the meaning behind the words someone says to me.

Someone's been here every day, holding my hand. I can't place the voice or figure out who it is. At least the person hasn't hurt me, yet! I guess it's just a matter of time; no one can be around me; either they disappear or break me. I'm not worth anything.

"No! Stop, Aleida, you have to keep fighting and get back to reality. Don't forget the dream you worked so hard for since your parents disappeared," I say to myself inside my head.

Ugh, I feel so lonely in here. I thought it would be interesting to be inside my own brain... Whoever recommended this experience should be fired; it's genuinely overrated. I'm bored hanging out with me, myself and I; the worst part is, I don't even have a choice.

All I can do is keep slipping around in my memories of the past. Dark times that make themselves reminded all the time no matter how much I try to repress them, I can't, not when I'm literally locked up with them. I'm curious about who it might be that holds my hand every day and why the person does that.

He or she has no reason to be here with me. Where's "here" anyway? I have no idea where I am, even though I can't care less right now. Tired, so tired...

Killian's POV (BETA)

Damn it! I can't relax. I have taken over most of my alpha's duties with our pack while he is with our future Luna. Even though I know she's safe, the anxiety is there, the anxiety that my best friend might never get to share his life with his mate. Miliano deserves happiness and love after everything he does for us.

He's been looking for land and kingdom around to find her. He's been waiting to see her for over six fucking years! If he had to wait longer, I think he'd given up all hope of finding his mate. After all he's been through, he needs someone to share his pain with.

Even though I'm his best friend and Milo knows he can talk to me, I can never replace the spot a mate has. Although she's still sedated and he hasn't been able to communicate with her, he loves her. I can see it in his eyes, even if he never will admit it to others.

He cares about her at such a deep level already; I think it's beautiful. The big bad wolf meets the exquisite innocent beauty that makes him behave like a love-sick puppy; I quietly laugh at the thought. Maybe she even manages to tame him.

His mood in these recent years has been anything but pleasant; in some periods, he has been able to lock himself in his office and stare at the maps of different continents in front of him. Daydreaming about where she could be and what she would look like.

He has been planning the meeting with his mate for many years, and he has bought a brand new wardrobe with all the associated accessories. I told him it's a stupid idea because he doesn't know what size she will have or what taste she has.

He always answers my remarks that he has a feeling that makes every purchase worth it; I can't argue with that. Who am I to judge? I myself don't want a mate. My eternal love is to our pack, and there is no place for anything else important that needs to have my passion in life.

Besides, I have already met my mate; I explained the situation and rejected her. She was prepared for me to do so and said that she understood my loyalty despite the pain inside her. That woman admired my courage to give up my happiness to give my life to my home.

Because that's what our house is like. For others, it might just be four walls and a roof, but to me, it's so much more. My pack is my family, and nothing can stand in my way to protect them. Even though my loyalty is always with my alpha, I can't deny that our luna is beautiful.

I can almost imagine what it would feel like if she put her hands on my body. She attracts me, neither I want or not, the attraction is still there. It's nothing I ever will admit neither to her nor anyone else! Then I can practically already jump from a cliff; I will be that dead.

I know better than to try taking another man's mate. Especially when it's about taking a luna from her alpha, that's a death sentence. My alpha is fair and, as I said, my best friend, but I know he will kill every son of a bitch who tries to put a hand on his goddess. I shouldn't feel or think like this about my luna, but for some reason, I can't help but! What the hell is going on with me?