Big girls don't cry (Aleida series #1)

18. Not the reality I imagined

Aleida POV

The sun shines through the blinds and almost makes me blind in the process. I squint my eyes, and after a couple of moments, I'm able to open my eyes all the way. My whole body hurts, and I don't know why. You know those videos of objects being mashed by big machines?

That's how my body feels at the moment. My face pulsates, and when I touch it, I can feel that it's swollen. My body manages to carry me to the bathroom; my reflection in the mirror stares back at me, and let me tell you, it's no beautiful sight. It looks like I just crawled up from the sewer...

My hair is tangled, face swollen, red eyes, pale skin, and bags under my eyes. Damn, I look like crap! What the hell happened last night? The memories float back to me. Oh right, now I remember, and it doesn't make me feel better about myself or my situation. I really like Miliano, but I also like Kian.

If Miliano comes here to bring me back, Kian will be heartbroken, and I'm not sure that I can be responsible for hurting him. At the same time, I don't want Miliano to feel that either. This really is a pickle. Whatever I choose to do, one of them will get their heartbroken.

Ugh! Why can't my life be easy for one god damn moment?! I need to calm down and catch my erratic breathing, or I will go into a full-blown breakdown; I sit down on the toilet lid and massage my temples in slow circles.

"You're okay, Aleida, you're okay, just breath," I tell myself over and over.

It takes time, but after a while, I slowly calm down and sigh before standing up. I look at myself in the bathroom mirror one more time before I decide that it's time for a much-needed shower. My clothes fall into a pile on the floor, and I walk inside the oversized shower.

The warm water cascades down my body, and the warmth spreads in the room. I massage the shampoo into my hair and scalp before I begin cleaning my body. My sore body eagerly accepts every little touch; it feels incredible. I rinse my body and wrap myself in a big fluffy pink towel; I let out a frustrated sigh when I remember.

"fuck, I forgot the clothes," I mumble to myself.

I'm not ashamed of my body, not in the slightest, but this whole thing with Kian is new. I don't think it's a good idea to walk around half-naked and give him ideas that may destroy our entire... Thing. Yeah, I'm calling it a "thing" because I don't know what we are.

I tiptoe out of the bathroom, into the walk-in closet, and quickly put on some clothes. It's quite hot outside today; maybe a dress will be practical. I pick out a royal blue slim dress that stops mid-thigh with baby blue sandals.

When I finish dressing, I walk back to the bathroom to look for a hairdryer. Every cabinet and drawer is open and not one, not a single hairdryer for miles. I sigh, defeated, before opening the bedroom door to shout to Kian.

"Hey, Kian?"

I hear his feet shuffle downstairs when he walks closer to the staircase to listen to me.

"Yeah, lepa?"

"Do you have a hairdryer anywhere?"

"Uhm... Isn't it one in the bathroom?"

"No, there isn't. Do you really think I would ask you without looking first?"

Oh my, where does all this sass come from?

"Then no, I'm very sorry. We can go shopping later this week to buy those things you need but don't have. I'm sorry, lepa."

I feel bad. What's with the attitude toward my mate? All Kian's does, he does for me, and how do I repay him? By behaving like a brat. Get it together, Aleida!