Turpin x reader

Chapter 35

Warning: trauma, stillbirth. This made me sad writing this, it's awful that there are so many stillbirths. Anyone who has been affected by this I am sorry.

After the incident, William became even more protective of you. He made sure that you wouldn't leave and would stay in the house, safe. You didn't really want to leave without him, your experience leaving you shaken.

Your stomach grew further and William began to dote on you more and more, he would take you out less and less but always bring you back something special when he went out, to show his love for you through gifts. Most of these gifts were food which was thought was good for pregnant women and little bits of jewellery for you. He also bought baby things, and he seemed like he could not wait for the child.

Soon your stomach was large and you just wished for the pregnancy to be over. William meanwhile loved the fact that you were so pregnant, loving that you were so beautiful as you were pregnant, dotting over your stomach.

You woke to pain in your stomach, unbearable pain. You opened your eyes and whimpered. It was the middle of the night and William slept beside you, his hand around your waist loosely.

You slipped out of his touch and started to cry, your stomach hurt so bad and you couldn't breathe. "William" you moaned, "William"

William immediately woke and was beside you. "Yes love?" he asked, worried.

"my stomach hurts" you moaned. William got up and got a candle, his eyes widened as he saw blood on himself, you and the bed.

"William" you cried, not wanting to look down. "It hurts so much."

"lay back. I will call the doctor." he murmured, getting to the door.

"Don't leave me" you screamed.

"No darling, never, I will be back. stay" he ran out and you carried on crying, you felt contractions and you laid back, tears falling from your eyes as you pushed, unable to cope with this.

"I'm back darling" William said, he sounded terrified, cradling your head. "stay with me love, stay with me" he kissed your head shakily, holding onto your hand as you gritted your teeth. You fell in and out of consciousness, unable to cope with the pain. You carried on pushing and pushing, until finally it was over and you pant, squeezing his hand hard as possible. You felt sick and were hyperventilating.

"I love you (y/n)" William murmured, kissing your head again. As you calmed your breathing down, William pulled up the covers and grimaced, tears started to drip from his face. He took up the little child, cut the cord with a penknife and wrapped it in his dressing gown.

"You would be so beautiful" he whispered, stroking the child's cheek gently.

"I want to see her" you murmured.

"I don't think you should" William mumbled.

"I want to see her" you screamed, tears starting to fall from your eyes again. William stood shocked for a second before sitting down on the bed and passing you the tiny little child, wrapped in the fluffy gown.

"Is she?" you asked.

"Yes" he whispered. "I am sorry love" you started to cry again, leaning into William as he rocked you, crying silent tears.

There was a knock on the door and William pried himself from you. "I will be back soon darling" he said and quickly went downstairs, coming back with the doctor. William lit more candles and the doctor frowned, properly moving the bed sheet to see the red blood stained on it.

"May I see her?" the doctor asked, different from the one who you had seen before.

"I was going to call her Mary" you whispered, holding onto her.

"Mary is a lovely name" the doctor said, smiling

"Mary Turpin" William mumbled, sitting on the bed and snuggling your head into his chest. "such beautiful name"

"May I see Mary?" the doctor asked gently. You nodded, William letting go of you and slowly you gave the child to the doctor. He checked his pulse and its tiny body and bowed his head, handing it gently back to you. You smiled at the child, holding it to you and rocking her gently.

"She looks a bit like you" you murmured, looking up at William.

"She also looks like you darling" he whispered, kissing your temple.

"I can take her if you like, baptise her and bury her with your family if you have a communal gravesite" the doctor said gently. You nuzzled your head into William's chest and he nodded slowly.

"It would be nice for Mary to be baptised and she can be buried with my mother" William lifted your chin gently. "What do you think?"

You nodded. "I want to know where she is buried" you said, clutching to William, remembering how so many mothers never knew where their stillborn child was buried.

"Yes, that is important" William said. The doctor nodded.

"can I hold her, just for a little more?" you mumbled.

"Take as much time as you need" the doctor said.

You nodded, being cradled by William while you held the baby in your arms. Your brain was fuzzy, not taking it all in. Would you ever be able to have a child after this? You started to cry again, heartbreaking sobs which made William start to cry also, tears again falling down his face and into your hair.

"I just want to make this clear that it was not your fault" the doctor said gently, "There are many factors of this and you must not blame yourself"

You nodded, sniffing and whipping away your tears which still fell from your eyes.

"May I take her?" the doctor asked.

You nodded, kissing the baby's head and handed it to him. "I will bid you a good night, Mr and Ms Turpin. I will ask the priest to call in the morning"

"Thank you doctor" William said, whipping away his own tears subtly.

"I will let myself out and lock the door, putting the key in the postbox" he said, leaving the room.

After a while of you and William just holding each other, he picked you up and took you to the bathroom. "I am going to clean you okay love, I will be gentle" Slowly he cleaned the blood off your body and stripped his own nightgown to show he had also blood on him. Crying silently he whipped it off himself and turned his attention back to you, cleaning the rest of the blood and kissing your head. "What would you like?" William asked.

"My baby back" you murmured, starting to cry again, long sobs filling the room.

"I know darling, I know" William said, cradling you in his arms and crying again, heartbroken. "I could get you some tea, hot chocolate, cake, get you to sleep, just hug you. Darling tell me what you need, please" he gritted his teeth, tears falling, making it hard to see.

"Just hold me" you murmured. William nodded, taking you up in his arms and carrying you to the spare room's bed and tucking you under the sheets. He also went under and hugged you close to him. He started singing something quietly, trying to soothe you any way he could. He was terrified for you.

"Saw a little bird sitting in a tree, he wanted to start a family, he went tweet, tweet, a tweet, tweet, he was looking for a sheep. He couldn't wait to find a maid, sat in a tree, sang a plee, he went tweet, tweet, a tweet, tweet, he was looking for a sheep" he smiled as you slept in his arms, shivering slightly. He frowned and tried to fall asleep himself