AFFECTION OR LOVE??

"FEAR!"

How many days it's been I wonder. 8days on exact that we've drunk ourselves in each other but I still blush over rewinding the flashbacks over and over again in my mind. As that have been the highest level of closeness we had so far . If you're imaging what happened after that day. Then yes, jungkook came earlier that night as he promised, earlier than me specifically.

I didn't actually expected him to keep his promise as the busy schedule always had but he did try to keep his words as when I entered my room , I found the pitter patter of the shower signaling jungkook was there and was met with a bouquet of roses with lilies lying on my nightstand.

Only the thought that he went far to search lilies at this off season made my heart flutter in a explosive way. We had our homely dinner and went back to sleep cuddling as jungkook was visibly too tired to keep his eyes open to keep up with my meaningless blabbing, he tried his best though. But that made my heart aches at how exhausted he's always been this days.

Sometimes it feels like we've skipped our relationship to 20yrs or so when we run out of time, that's most of the time. But on the other hand, we feel alive whenever we lay in each others arms inhaling other's smell at the end of all kind of exhaustion.

Anyway, I'm just sitting at my cabin for the time being enjoying the little break between back to back OTs when I got the invitation card of one of my fellow colleague , who's a senior nurse.
As soon as I opened the card a smile decorated my face . It's nothing extravagant , just the simple " Song Yaeji weds Park heung " made my soul to start feeling an unknown feeling that I've never felt before.

I wonder how two people feel when they commit to stay with eachother through registered paper and soul all together. I wonder how couples feel reaching the destination where they feel like they're the right one they want to share there last breath with. I just wonder and this makes me feel kinda emotional in some way.

Yaeji and Mr Park has been dating for more than 5yrs now I think. Mr Park has been working as an assistant director in some multinational company. They've met through some family acquaintance and they fell for each other. You must be wondering how I know this much about them . Oh I tell you, they're the most famous couple among us. They've always been the matter of talk as Mr park knew no boundaries to show his love when it came to Yaeji unnie. He's been in every little function we'd in the past as her family member, he's always been there whenever she's attending a new ward and most importantly he's always outside the hospital building almost everyday to pick her up after work.

There are people who thought that their love was too beautiful and there was also the type of people who didn't hesitate to level them as a mere 'show off'. But all those things never changed Mr Park's perspective, I guess he's too whipped to care for others .

I used to be among the second kind of people sometimes to judge them instantly in the past. But now, when my heart is craving for it's ultimate residence in the man who's currently in LA for his upcoming Music video shoot , I'm wishing nothing but to feel the feeling of showing off a little bit affection to the man I love disregarding people's judgement. My heart is screaming to tell the world out loud that "JEON JUNGKOOK ONLY BELONGS TO ME!"

Love do wonders to people and it obviously leaves people reckless both in mind and soul.

Jk's p.o.v:

   The atmosphere surrounding the shooting set has become too gloomy , no not because any change in the weather of LA. The weather here has been never better to shoot for the MV and if it were any normal day the whole set would be too energetic and enthusiastic to shoot and finish as soon as possible.

The energy is there but the enthusiasm is suddenly turned to die at the news that got published few hrs ago. One of the famous Idol from other band has been revealed to be an expecting dad where he's never been heard of dating any one. After the news got published, it turned out that he's been in a relationship with an ordinary citizen and now they're expecting a baby. The news is not anything to gloom over. The gloominess took over when their fans assembled before their agency to show their disappointment at their formerly cherished idol .

The ones they once cheered for and vowed to protect at all costs are now dragging him down just bcz he came out to be in a relationship.

The backlashes of being an idol has been many but being disgraced and left out by your own fan may the scariest one.

The thought that you need validation from millions of people at a same time to just love the one person you want to love and keep for yourself is kind of frightening and frustrating too. The fear of facing hate from your own people is no better than a death sentence itself.

The news is nothing new to mourn over this way but the whole crew is kind of reserved to gossip about this matter frequently like they would usually do in other cases is because namjoonie hyung is currently sitting on a chair at the corner of the huge room , face showing that he's been thrown into a quicksand where he didn't know how to fight.

He's always been intelligent and smart in this kind of situations to hide his relationship with Emi noona before. Maybe he's thinking about other possibilities of being revealed by other people than his own confession to ARMY and hurt both the love of his life now as it's been already yrs he's fighting this alone.

And here I finally can detest the worst of the situation  same way as hyung. He's been in love for years still he's too puzzled to process his next responsibility. And me being with my love for not more few months is feeling too weak to fight against my inner turmoil. Only the outcome of getting revealed at this point can only be my love nipped in the bud before I can process anything .

The fear of losing the only thing that's yet to be established through experience and commitment is dreadful.

I wasn't aware that I've been spacing out at my thoughts looking at Namjoon hyung until he met my gaze and sighed avoiding my gaze. And my heart snapped at me right away to walk straight to where he's seated.

"Hyung! Emi noona!" I was just able to utter this much when he replied instantly -

"I can't leave her! I can't!"

My heart never felt this much pain looking at hyung.  We went through so many hardships from our debut days but he's never looked this vulnerable .

"Noona is strong hyung! She trusts you the most. She'll never leave you !" I tried to comfort hyung caressing his shoulder slightly.

"You're strong too kook!" Hyung said nodding to himself which somehow confused me but I shrugged it off as he's not in a condition neither was I to inquire about my puzzles.

A/n: hi!!
Am I too late?

Kind of filler chapter !

We're getting ups and downs soon.