I was running & sniffing until I reached out of the building.
Now what y/n? Where will you go?
Dorm?
But it's late!! You won't get entry!!
I was walking down the street to calm myself down & act like an adult.
I've acted enough childish today!!
Walking for a few minutes while debating where should I go then, I came along the area where the night was still young as the roadside shops were selling well among the crowd.
Losing my sanity to decide the good or bad, I bought a can of beer & took the roadside bench to sit.
This was the second time I was gonna drink but the reason's & emotions were so different from the first time which I took for celebrating my graduation.
As the burning taste of the liquid rolled down my throat ,my phone went off..
"Hello?"
"H-hello!!" I sniffed as I couldn't control the grief anymore.
"Y/N!! What happened??"
"Tae!! I need you!" I broke down in tears hearing my friend's voice on the other side of the phone.
"Where are you? I'm coming!" Tae replied obviously being worried.
"But..you-"
"I've just reached Seoul half an hour ago . Just tell me where you are,will you?" He groaned.
"I'm somewhere near the office!" I replied clearing my throat.
"Wait there.. I'm coming!" He replied & I could hear him hurrying.
Gulping down the bear I was sitting there contemplating whether I should tell Tae or not when flashlights from a car stung my eyes & a worried Taehyung came running out of the car.
"Whoaa!! What hap-!" Tara's words got cut off as I threw myself into his arms.
"I'm.. I'm sorry Tae!" I cried out loud in his arms.
"It's okay, it's okay ,love! Everything's alright! I'm here!" He tried to calm me down engulfing me safely in his embrace. And I gave in crying my heart out.
After a few moments,as I claimed down a bit, Tae took me to the bench & turned me to face him . Holding my hands into his while caressing,he tried his best to tell me that everything's gonna be alright.
"Now , would you please tell me what exactly happened? " He asked with pleading eyes.
"I- I messed up Tae! I always do!! Why am I this much weak!!" I choked as new teardrops started to form in my eyes again.
"No, you're not weak!! You're my strongest,y/n!" He replied caressing my cheek to wipe my tears.
"I'm sorry Tae! I can't do this anymore! I can't pretend to be strong to hide my weakness. I can't be selfish to hurt you anymore. I can't be fake with my feelings only to hold you anymore!" I sobbed silently avoiding his eyes.
"Don't scare me y/n. What happened!!" Tae got more worried & I hate myself for that moment.
"Ju-jungkook!!" Taehyung's eyes widened in anticipation but he kept silent for me to proceed on .
"I thought I could get rid off this feeling if I gave myself with you a chance. But I was a fool. How could I even dare to think that!! This pain has always been there from the time when I didn't even know what love is!! Huh...I don't even know what the fcking love is..!! But all I know is I'm deceiving you Tae!! When you look at me with those loving eyes but I can't return you the same look,the same love ,my heart breaks everytime!! Whenever you hold me,kiss me or look at me expecting I'd return your feeling but I can't, I feel like a betrayer!! I can't give you the love you deserve cz that one man had taken all these feelings away a long ago when my heart was still raw. He saw the seeds of love in me & he also nipped it in the bud!! You're precious & I'm not worthy of your love!!
I'm tired of hurting you!!"
And a year drop rolled down his cheek.
