Male Reader inserts

frvr || shi wudu

{fluff}

*small smut warning for very horny thoughts, slight magical weight gain, shi wudu is a fucking freak*

source: tian guan ci fu, heaven official's blessing, 天官赐福

artist: official, STARember
~
Usually when one of the Three Tumors had a bone to pick with someone, all of them would agree. If you beefed with one, you beefed with all - that's just how they rolled. However, Pei Ming's one sided feud with the current fertility god(dess) was ridiculous. (L/n) (Y/n) was the sweetest person that had ever ascended besides Shi Qingxuan. He was kind and a bit of a pushover for others who treated him in like, but could still stand up for himself if need be. He was also a great help when healing was necessary. He hadn't even ascended in a violent way so could hardly fight.

But Pei Ming, prideful as he was, had fully expected Ling Wen and Shi Wudu to agree with his distaste for the fertility god.

When asked by Ling Wen what in the world (Y/n) had done to make Pei Ming want to enact revenge, as petty as it was, Pei Ming could only fluster. He stuttered and stumbled over his reasoning, dodging the question before saying that (Y/n) had damaged his reputation in front of many people. Ling Wen didn't bother to press on and Shi Wudu did neither, but he didn't agree with Pei Ming. He didn't voice it, but he had no idea how someone as polite and sweet and much more responsible than his younger brother would carelessly or, even more bizarrely, maliciously ruin any other heavenly official's reputation. He listened and sat between the ridiculous plan Pei Ming had cooked up with Ling Wen occasionally chiming in. They ended up with a simple plan to spike some treats that Shi Wudu would take over to (Y/n)'s small manor in order to damage his reputation and ego the same way he'd done Pei Ming.

Shi Wudu had been chosen because it was quite obvious that (Y/n) greatly enjoyed the Water Lord's company. Just thinking that made the Water Lord apprehensive. He sighed, but agreed, doubting that whatever his silly friends had figured out to do would genuinely do harm. Ling Wen asked for the rest of the evening and night to get the treats commissioned, saying that she'd pass them on to Shi Wudu once they were done and for him to immediately go to (Y/n)'s manor once he got them.

He hadn't expected to get the "gift" immediately the next day. He had just been checking up on his younger brother when another of the civil gods had run up to him, out of breath and trying their best to bow respectfully.

"F - For you, Lord Water Master," the Middle Heaven god wheezed, hands outstretched like frail dead tree branches. Shi Wudu relieved the Mid Heaven god of his hefty burden, turning the delicately packaged treats scornfully. Well ... he supposed now he had to be on his way to (Y/n)'s manor, didn't he? He sighed wistfully, wishing that he didn't have to partake in inconveniencing someone who could only do good in Shi Wudu's eyes. Honestly, would you believe the man that had helped your mother deliver your baby brother safely was in any way, shape, or form, bad?

Shi Wudu had simply turned to walk in the direction of (Y/n)'s - ahem - clinic, when he noted the delicately feminine face of just the person he was looking for happily chatting with that General Xianle. Shi Wudu's jaw tensed slightly before he collected himself and strode forward. At the sound of his authoritative steps, (Y/n) couldn't help but look over his shoulder, delicate peach blossom eyes crinkling joyfully when he noticed who it was.

"Lord Water Master! How lovely to see you! You've met General Xianle, yes? I was just speaking with him about -" That shameless His Highness hurriedly shushed, quickly whispering to (Y/n) that whatever metaphor they had been speaking of was consequently part of patient confidentiality, to which (Y/n) quietly gasped and nodded, apologizing swiftly. Shi Wudu merely blinked, slightly inclining his head in acknowledgement before presenting his open palm with the soft, beautifully patterned cloth containing the treats.