DAYDREAM → PAUL LAHOTE

° 12

Astraea took a deep breath before she opened the door to their house, her report card in her hand. The moment she stepped foot into their home, she heard her mom talking to her godmother. She turned her head towards them before walking in their direction.

With every step she takes toward them, the more she grips the paper in her hand. "I got my report card," Astraea said and decided to stop behind the sofa.

She decided to sit down and wait for her mother to make her way towards her "Let me see." Mabel said as she made her way toward her daughter.

Astraea raised the report card in her hand to give it to her mom, as soon as Mabel take the report card, Astraea's gaze stayed on the floor. She knew what Mabel would say, she knew her mother too well.

"you got a B+?" Mabel asked, "I did try hard Mom." Astraea explained, her gaze stayed on the cold floor, unable to look at her mom because at any moment she could cry.

"You're not trying hard!" Mabel screamed "Mabel." Maggie said "Don't, Maggie. This is between me and Astraea."

"I'll see you later," Maggie whispered as she grab her bag. She knows she can't do anything.

"What did I say to you?" Mabel spoke, her eyes full of anger and disappointment
"I'm trying hard," Astraea replied "You're not trying hard enough! I told you over and over again about this!" Mabel screamed and cause Astraea to jump in her seat because of surprise "How could you fail? Your sister isn't like this, Astraea!" There's her mother goes, again.
She couldn't remember how many times her mother compared her to her sister since she was young, but, she's glad she didn't remember because she might cry if she remembers the pain she endures from the comparison by her mother.

"How could you be so stupid! You're such a failure!" Mabel yelled as she faced back and forth in anger "This is about the boy." Mabel added, calmer yet so angry.

"Don't bring Paul into this." Astraea's gaze finally lift off the floor and look directly at her mom, Astraea thought that her mother could talk shit about her but not to Paul, never.

"You're talking back now?" Mabel scoffed "Aren't you happy that I didn't fail?" Astraea asked in disbelief "I wanted an A plus, Astraea. Not B." Astraea tries not to laugh, it was not a happy laugh, it was a sad laugh she wanted to let out "Starting tomorrow, you're going home before five pm, you hear me?" Mabel said.

"Yes." Astraea replied, "Go to your room." Mabel turned around and balled Astraea's report card into her hand before throwing it into the trash.

Astraea stand up from the sofa and quietly climb the stairs when he was at the top of the stairs, the tears that he had been holding back came out. she stopped for a few seconds before she turned left, she took a few steps before she stopped at the end of the hallway and quietly open the door.

When she entered her room with her gaze on the floor, she feels like she's gonna fall any minute and because of that, she didn't notice the boy sitting quietly on her bed, staring at her.

When she finally closed the door, she turned around, "Traea, are you okay?" Paul asked, she froze. She didn't expect him to come.

"What's wrong?" Paul looked at her sadly, he knew something is wrong, He always do. Astraea didn't reply and just look at the floor.

Before she knew it, Paul stand up from her bed and walked towards her, after that, all she felt was his warm body, Nothing more.

Paul tried to make her look up at him, but she gazed stayed where they are, she thought she wouldn't notice the tears that were starting to form in her beautiful eyes and her quiet sniff.

Paul sighed and wrapped his arm around her, then she finally broke down and cried into his shoulder. "Tell me who hurt you, doll. I'll make them pay." Paul said though he knew he shouldn't say that it just come out of his mouth.

He sighed as he gathered her to his arm and lay beside her while he hug her, this is what she needed for tonight, him. It's him that she needed.

"I'm here, doll. I'm always here, just let it out." He told her as he wipe the tears off her face with his hands. He didn't say anything after that, he just lay there with her as he stroked her hair, he just let her cry into his arm and chest.

"I'm never gonna be enough for her," Astraea whispered between sobbing, she tried, she really did but it seems like whatever she do, she will never gonna be enough for her mother.

Through Astraea's every sob, Paul never stopped whispering I love you and you're enough to Astraea's ear to remind the sobbing girl that she is enough and who even think another wise was an idiot.

"You're enough, love." He said as she sobbed "Don't listen to her." He kissed her head and hug her tightly.

"I will always be the failure daughter that she didn't want." Astraea cried she tried not to show it but she can't take it anymore.

He can tell Astraea isn't convinced by what he said, so he tried to think what he can do to change her mind because he cannot bear to see her crying or suffering.

"You're enough, my love. People who cannot see that were too blind to see how precious you are, doll." He whispered to her ear, hands on her hand, holding it tightly.

The moment she stop crying, she spoke "That nickname, that's what you used to call me when we were kids." Astraea smiled, Paul let out a chuckle "I can't believe you still remember that" He said.

"Of course, I do remember that" she chuckled "Thank you for being here, Paul," Astraea said as she looks at him in the eye

"I'm always here for you, Love." He whispered into her ear, "Always remember that, Traea."

Astraea was wrong when she thought Paul stopped loving her when Paul distance himself from her because, after all, that happens, Paul never stopped loving her.

He loves her since they were kids like she's the only one that matters in his life. The truth is she is, and she always will be.

"You're always there to save me." She smiled as she buried her face into his neck.

He's happy to know that he's one of the people who's saved her but, he didn't know that he's the only one who's saving her.