DAYDREAM → PAUL LAHOTE

° 47

I opened my eye when I heard my name being called, I know it was not Mateo cause if he is Mateo, I'm probably going to kill him.

I half opened my eyes and saw someone in a suit and I immediately knows who is standing at my door "C'est au milieu de la nuit, lip. que veux-tu?" I asked.

"Mademoiselle Mera, Mademoiselle veut que vous alliez dans sa chambre. Elle attend." Lip told me, "D'accord, je vais y aller," I said, rubbing my eyes. Lip nods his head before quietly closing the door behind him. I sighed and threw the covers off me and grab my night coat and threw it over to myself.

I made my way to Aunt Coraline's bedroom but it was a long walk, her room was on the other side of the manor.

I knocked first before I opened the door "Aunt Coraline, xaver a dit que tu voulais me voir?" I said before I close the door quietly so it doesn't make any sound.

"Yes, dear." Aunt Coraline answered,
"Come here, sit beside me." She extended her hand for me to grab "Aren't you supposed to be resting?" I asked her, seating slowly on her bed as I take her hand and wrapped my two hands around it.

"I will soon enough." Coraline chuckled. She looks so sick, so pale than before "Do you want me to read you your favorite book?" I asked, getting worried cause she doesn't ask for me unless she wanted me to read to her "Oh, that's not what you are here for, my child."

I furrowed my eyebrows before I heard the words I never wanted to ever hear again from her.

"Astraea, I'm dying."

"No, you will recover soon, Aunt Coraline." I don't care what she called me but I cannot lie, my heart stop a beat when I heard that name being said "Oh, life is so short. I'm lucky I live long this enough." Aunt Coraline chuckled as she cough, she had a handkerchief in her hand to cover her mouth.

"Promise me one thing, child." She tightened her hand around my hand and at the state she was in, I'm willing to do anything that will make her happy "I will." I smiled at her, trying to keep the tears at the back of my eye.

"Be married."

My lips parted as I stared at her "I don't think that can happen, Aunt Coraline." I told her, I couldn't just marry and she wouldn't let me marry anyone I didn't love.

"That's what I wanted to do. I'm not gonna get better no matter how many times you said it, I'm old."

"Aunt Coraline," My eyes were now starting to be glossy. "Stop saying that like you're gonna die because you're not. Why are you even telling me this?" I asked, frustrated by the way she was acting right now.

"I can see it in your eyes, Hemera. You're not happy, you left without the boy." I want to beg her to stop but each time I tried to speak my lips will tremble.

"Hemera, Listen to me." Coraline said as she touched and reached my cheek and made me look at her "I'm not getting any better." I shook my head over and over again.

I thought we were over this.

"One day, you're gonna get married and start a happy family." A family. What a desirable thing it is. "I—" I don't know what to say, I lowered my head cause I couldn't meet her gaze cause I might break down again "It does not suit you being alone, dear."

"Do you love him?" Aunt Coraline asked suddenly "What do you mean?" I asked, knitting my eyebrows together and acting like I don't know what she meant "The Lahote boy."

"I forgot about him a long time ago." I sighed, looking down at my lap
"Since when?" Aunt Coraline let out a humorless laugh "Since the day I left the Rez." I answered.

"You cannot lie to me, child." Aunt Coraline smiled, she still knew me better than I knew myself "You're still young and clever." Her voice is stern yet so sweet, even though her lectures do always get on my nerves, I cannot let go of her.

"Ah, I still can remember my youth with someone I truly love." Her last sentence shock me, she never told me she had a lover, and she never told me anything about her past "You remember what I told you about Mateo's mother?" She asked.

"You said you used to be friends." I replied, eyebrows knitted in confusion as I tried to figure out what Mateo's mother had got to do with her past "More than friends." Then, I realize what she meant.

"When she told me she's getting married, it breaks my heart and it shattered me into million pieces." Aunt Coraline confessed.

I always thought Aunt Coraline was always busy with her studies and work back then that's why she never got married but it's because the woman she loved is already married. Mateo's mother.

"I love her so much, Mera, and till now, I'm regretting how cowardly I am for not going after her." Tears poured out of Aunt Coraline's eyes and I never saw her shed a single tear until now. I thought Aunt Coraline never wanted to get married but she did the woman she loved left "Come back where your heart belongs, come back to them." Aunt Coraline said as she close her eyes.

She look so tired, so ready to give in but she couldn't until she made sure, I'm happy.

"Please, don't." My voice broke, I could take it no more. Every time I remember everything, I just break.

"Promise me, Hemera" Aunt Coraline lifted my chin so I could look her in the eye "Don't" I told her as I shake my head, "Don't what?" Aunt Coraline asked.

"Don't make me promise such things" I whined, "You know I can't" I added as I bawled into my hand.

"Lay beside me." Aunt Coraline demanded. I slowly lay beside her as she wrapped her arms around me "Ne fais pas la même erreur que j'ai faite, mon enfant." Coraline whispered, her voice sounding so tired and weak, she stared at me with so much emotion but I only returned one thing, a smile.

She run her fingers gently through my hair before planting soft kisses on my forehead and I wrapped my arms around her waist, hugging her closely and I slowly lose her.

"It's okay if you can't take it anymore," I told her, gripping her hands gently as tears poured out my eye "I'm sorry I've been so selfish," I murmured, voice breaking.

"Take care, my child."

Her hand was loose against my hand but I kept my grip on it as I pulled it against my cheek, hoping it could wipe the tears away. Her eyes lids fell, like the way her heartbeat fell dropped each time.

And there was I, staring at my Aunt's deceased body, as I broke down to tears.

I lost her, the mother I never had.