DAYDREAM → PAUL LAHOTE

° 49

"Hey, Meercat, time to eat." Mateo entered my office with a tray in his hand again to remind me that I needed to eat more than once a week
"Stop with the nickname, will you?" I asked him, not tearing my eyes from the screen in front of me.

Since Aunt Coraline died, I've been worse and finally, I had time to acknowledge it. I'm been drowning not only in my sorrows but with paper works. Louise is kind enough not to send all the files to me all at once because I might fucking lose my insanity.

"It's cute," Mateo said, shrugging before putting the tray at my desk. He never stopped bringing me food even though I told him not to "You can leave now." I told him. He knows he shouldn't be here at this time of the day.

"Stop being-" I cut him off, "Miserable." I finished for him. I cannot remember how many times he reminded me not to be miserable and live my life and not hide behind tons of paper "You cannot stop something you cannot control." I snapped, finally looking at him.

Mateo sighed as he shook his head, realizing it would be hard for him to convince me to eat what he brought for me but instead of talking, he stormed out of the room and I heard him mutter under his breath.

"I'm just worried about her, I don't even know what was going on in her mind anymore." I knew he was talking about me cause who else would he talk about? Definitely not Ada.

I know Mateo is worried and I can't do anything to stop him from feeling that way cause I don't even know how to stop myself from feeling this way, it's been two months since Aunt Coraline died and all I do is work and sleep.

Work and Sleep.

Work.

And.

Sleep.

That is my cycle and routine for the last months and only got worsened when she died. Mateo thought I should consider seeing a physiatrist and going to therapy like I'm some sort of mental person.

And he thought it could help me to stop my alcohol addiction, from what he likes to call it. He said I can make it stop because I'm the one controlling it.

But, what if I'm not the one who's controlling it?

Sometimes, I felt like I'm floating outside my body and don't know who I am anymore, like I'm watching myself suffer from something I used to love.

I even consider for a moment going to therapy but I know it won't going to be so much help.

"Good afternoon, mademoiselle." Louise closed the door behind her quietly, bowing her head a little as a gesture of respect "Any news?" I asked her, closing my laptop.

Louise nodded before walking in front of my desk "People were gossiping, the board members." Louise informed me as she poured me a glass of champagne and handed it to me "Do they?" I raised my eyebrow as I took a sip.

I knew something like this would happen and I intended to do something about it as soon as possible "Did you do it?" I asked her, Louise smiled at me before nodding her head "I did, Mademoiselle." Louise answered, "Good." I muttered under my breath.

The board members of the company like to gossip and I am very much aware of it. I knew sooner or later something like this would happen, they will betray me to take over the company but I am always gonna be ten times ahead of them without them knowing.

I asked Louise to dig up their background and I knew she found some nasty things they do not want the whole world to know and for that not to happen, they must obey me.

And if they don't, I'll take everything from them. Piece by piece without them knowing they are already falling.

I am heartless, I know. I have a heart but only for those who deserve it.

In a world full of hungry men, you must be a cunning and heartless woman.