Just a Pucking Prank [COMPLETED]

Chapter 48 - Change

Lydia

I'm not sure how I make it through the meeting with professor Turner, but I do. I walk out of there feeling like I'm getting at least one part of my life under control.

I haven't been sure what she expects from me. I think mostly she just doesn't want me to flunk out. But I have a feeling that requesting this meeting, and actually asking questions, not only about the course, but about how to create the career I want, made her realize I'm serious.

Because I am serious. This feeling has been growing inside me all semester, and I'm finally in a place where I can look to a future outside of UNI and plan for my life. Until now, I feel like I was struggling to keep my head above water. But at some point, I learned how to stay afloat, and now I can start swimming.

Oddly enough, it's only now that I realize I've been risking it all. It's almost as if I didn't even see that I was drowning while it was happening. Like my world was too small.

One reason I chose media and communication was because I thought it would be easy. The dream of having my own show has been there for a long time. But it's only now that I've started thinking about how to make it happen.

I assumed broadcasting and traditional tv was the place to start. But after talking to professor Turner, I'm not so sure. We spoke at length about how people are consuming entertainment and media today and how it's likely to change in the future.

And I'm excited.

For the first time in a long time, I'm actually so fucking excited about something. I want to sit down and plan. I want to do research. I want to solve the riddle of my future. Because it's something I can do.

I still want the internship. Because I think it will teach me so much. But there are so many options out there that I haven't even considered.

I left the meeting with a list of people to look up on different platforms. People and companies that have carved out non-traditional paths for themselves. And maybe that's what I should be doing.

I don't know yet. There's still something calling me to the more traditional TV setting. But I'm keeping an open mind.

I walk across campus with steps that are light and quick. The air is chilly and I feel alive.

In front of me, I glimpse one of the hockey players and the cold seeps through my body.

There's a pain in my chest as it all comes crashing back to me. Chloe's hand on his arm. The look on his face as if he'd been caught with some big secret.

I shake my head. I would love to talk to him about all of this. About my future. But he's not mine to talk to. He never was.

I really thought he wanted me when he asked me to meet him at Lucky's. It was stupid of me. He made it clear so many times that I was a dirty secret. Nothing more.

I take a deep breath and try to ignore the stabbing pain. I'll get over him. Sometime. I have to.

"You look awful," Trisha says as we're having coffee on Tuesday afternoon.

"Thanks," I say. I grab my purse and look for a mirror.

"What's going on with you?" Pres asks.

I shrug. "I just didn't sleep well." My face stares back at me in the mirror. Trisha is right. I have dark circles under my eyes. "Maybe I need a better concealer," I say, only half joking.

"Anyway," Pres says. "I spoke to daddy, and he wants us to take a week to visit his hotel in Hawaii."

Trisha squeals. "Oh, my god. Are you serious?"

Pres nods. "It's a compromise. We get a week in Hawaii and in exchange, I go skiing with them for Christmas."

"You said yes, right?" Trisha is almost bouncing out of her seat.

Pres nods. "We're going to Hawaii."

They both cheer and people look over at us.

"Lydia?" Pres asks. "Aren't you excited?"

"It's Hawaii," Trisha says. "And an entire week."

"I can't take a week off." My shoulders sink.

"Why not?"

"I'm just getting my studies on the right track and I have all this extra work I need to get done. It's just not possible."

"Are you serious?" Trisha looks as if someone told her Santa isn't real.

"I'm sorry," I say. "Maybe you could take someone else?"

"But we always go together," Trisha whines.

"It's just not possible."

I've also realized I have to cut back on the partying and the drinking. I don't want to cut it all out, but I can't continue on like this.

"Maybe if it was for a weekend?" I try. "I think I could get away for a weekend. As long as I don't miss any classes."

"That's not the same." Trisha crosses her arms and pouts.

"Sorry."

"You've changed," Pres says. "Ever since you started working at the Den, it's like you're less fun."

"It's not the job. I've just... grown. I'm taking my career more seriously."

"Nah, you're different." Trisha says. "Something's happened to you."

I check the time. "I have to go. It's my last week working there."

They grumble as I get up and leave, and I wonder if maybe we've grown apart as friends.

It's the last week. The sentence keeps running through my head. It's the last week. I only have to put up with Wes for a couple more shifts. Then I never have to see him again.

Sadness overcomes me and I'm not sure why. I still haven't spoken to him since he texted me after his dinner with Chloe. Part of me is disappointed he didn't try any harder. That it was so easy for him to give me up. Another part of me just wants to break down and cry because he didn't try harder.

But I'm worth more. I know I am. I have to be.